I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a ‘dropping’ experience in relation to this point of registering my business where within myself I see this as a ‘big ordeal’ and so in relation to this experience this ‘dropping’ within myself, is a form of ‘falling’ in relation to the point instead of standing equal to the task.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stand equal to the task of registering my business where I see that there is still many points within myself in relation to doing this that are not yet Aligned in a way that will effectively support this point in producing effective results. And so when for instance the point of registering my business comes up, I go into reaction instead of practical direction as the point of standing equal to the task.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that ‘there is no point’ to registering my business because within myself I believe ‘it will not work out anyways’ and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by an experience coming up inside me in relation to this point about registering my business where I have allowed this experience to automatically dictate what I do instead of assisting and supporting myself to investigate where this experience comes from and if it is something that I should place my trust in.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a way where I don’t even understand the experiences that are happening inside me from the perspective of where I cannot really tell fact from fiction in terms of identifying which are experiences that is based on false perceptions of reality, and what is common sense and practical considerations, where its like all of this just seems to mix together where I cannot seem to differentiate it from each other.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself when this point of ‘registering’ my business came up because I was prompted by someone else to do this where then I went into self judgement andthought/believed that because I was not the one prompting myself that this means or indicates that I have failed or that it will end in failure.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my business will fail and so don’t even bother doing the necessary alignments within the system to ensure that it can function in the best way possible, and thus have fundamentally given up before I even began.
There is definitely a part of me that doesn’t really see this ‘going anywhere’. There is also a part of me that doesn’t believe I will actually have any success doing this.
It is interesting because in my mind I often will see and envision this point (my business) working in various contexts and what that will look like, but then here I will really reign myself back because deep down I don’t really think its going to work out and so Its like I have already accepted failure, like I am already seeing and projecting the failure point into the endeavour which I see really ‘kills the motivation’ in a way.
But what I wanted to mention is how there is like 2 versions happening in terms of the possibilities where there is like the perfect version where everything works miraculously and then there is the point where it simply just fizzle out and fail and that the point where it fizzle out and fail, I seem to define and see as more valid and more real and in a way ‘what will likely happen’. And so I thought it was interesting that I have given more value and credit to the ‘negative’ version of the play-outs that take place within me as if the ‘negative’ version is more realistic and so that I should pay attention to this version.
I will continue with this point in further blogs
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