Haunted by Past Mistakes – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 554

Obeying Your Fears

Today I woke up a bit later than I wanted to. I had planned to get up a bit earlier because I had an event that I was attending later in the day and so I wanted to wake up early as a point of Self Direction. As a statement that I am making to and for myself that I am directing myself instead of allowing me to be directed by the mind as excuses and justifications and so in terms of sleep this would be all the justifications that come up in the morning when it is time to get up where all the justifications come up like “just a little longer” or “its ok if I sleep I bit more” ect, ect. And so I had planned to get up as I saw this would be a nice way to support myself with developing my stability and effectiveness for the event.

On my way to the event I could see that I was having this experience coming up within me like having doubts about the event. I could see that this doubting experience was in part related to having allowed myself to sleep in in the morning instead of directing myself where now because of this I had this point/belief that the event would be a failure or I would not be effective within it because “I am not directing myself” which is the example I had set earlier in the day by not getting up earlier like I had planned.

In a way I felt that by allowing myself to make this mis-take in the morning that “I had missed my opportunity” already and that thus this event coming up later in the day ‘would be a failure’. And so this particular point was weighing on me quite heavily and I really just wanted to go into this experience that was within me of just wanting to give up and thinking ‘what’s the point’, ‘what’s the use’.

As I drove to the event I applied Self Forgiveness in my car. But it was like my experience was just to much. My experience of “this will fail” and “this will not work”

Though within this I questioned this whole experience I was having. I questioned whether it was valid because what I could see was that the event did not take place yet, and to allow myself to go into this form of ‘despair’ because of a belief/idea I had about this event “not working”  was like a projection because the event had not yet taken place. I could see my logic if you will did not add up, that this event was somehow certain to fail because of events that had taken place earlier in the day, like me not getting up early like I had planned and wanted to. The question was

“Why would I allow myself to go into this experience of impending failure and potentially sabotage what had not even taken place yet through by essentially tying my future event/success to past events/failures or mistakes.” Logically – this was sabotage.

There was such a certainty within me in this experience I was having. It was like “I just knew it” , “I just knew it wouldn’t work”

Interestingly the event went fine. It did not go how I had projected it would go  considering the experience I was having earlier in the day about how I believed the event would go.

So what see as a point of value within this is  to realize here is that it is best to stick to the Physical and not accept and allow myself to go into the projections of how things will go before the point is actually here.

Because what I see Is that my ‘projection’ of how things will go is not actually accurate as was proven today and so now if I look at my experience earlier in the day it was quite heavy and could have potentially affected how things played out if I would have really went into it because I see that one can actually make decisions based on ones experience that in this case was absolutely incorrect and so to make decisions based on this has a consequence.

So best to stick to the physical and that is a point I did see also as I was preparing for this point later in the day, that “Ok I was having this doubt experience’ but rather walk the point IN THE PHYSICAL and Do what I can to the best of my ability to make the point effective.

So overall yes today was another good example and reminder to ‘stick to the physical’. And to not accept and allow oneself to get caught up in ones internal experiences about something that is often created within ones mind with various parameters that have to do with past events, beliefs, ideas, perceptions, ultimately points that do not necessarily relate to what is here and what is going on in ones actual current reality here.


DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Solutions.
Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution for a Failing Capitalism
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.


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