Today was quite a busy day at work. When it is busy at work I am required to interact with allot different people and also to process different orders and overall essentially multitasking to ensure the flow of the operations.
The past 3 days I have been working with the point of developing my ability and capacity to perform these different functions at work, particularly when it comes to interacting with people who are essentially the customers that come into my place of work to potentially buy our products.
Recently I have had allot of reactions and resistances coming up in relation to this entire process and specifically also in relation to interacting with people, particularly within the context of doing sales where I am standing within the position of being the Sales Man, something which I surely was not ‘programmed’ to be as throughout my life I have actually tended towards being more of a loner and just preferring to be alone and spend timewith myself or just a small group of friends.
So when I started in the job I am working in now, interacting with people in this sales setting was one of the points which I have had to stand within and develop myself to be able to do effectively. There are many timeswhere I want to give up and think and believe “this is not working” or “this is never going to work” and there are other times when things seem to be going well.
Over the past while, I have noticed that my ‘negative’ experience in relation to walking this point has been accumulating more and more and I have specifically noticed this.
I noticed that my ‘experience’ was becoming more intense in terms of the resistance coming up towards walking this point the days that I was working on the sales floor. I also noticed that the excuse and justifications that I came up with in my mind as the back-chat that I speak to myself within the privacy of my own mind were becoming more and more. What I noticed is that I was not stopping myself essentially from creating the reactionsthat I was having and within this it was becoming increasingly more difficult to go to work form the perspective of me not really feeling like I want to be there and where things just were not seeming to work and thus then the frustration and anger and reactions and other various mental experiences was building, and the more I didn’t direct these reactions, the more reactions came up and the more my experiencesbecome uncomfortable.
The point that I am seeing now is that I am having reactions and that I cannot really trust the effectiveness of the point I am currently standing within as my current job until I can stand and function within that point within a point of having zero reactions. I see that as long as I am having reactions that I cannot really trust my ‘opinion’ of the position I am in because thus, my ‘opinion’ is beign affected and influenced by the reactions that I am having. Where reactions are the energetic experiences and thoughts and judgements I have coming up that I have created within myself that is like “how I view the world” through my own personal religion of self, and that this personal religion of self is absolutely and utterly BIAS based on how I was raised and the morals I was programmed with through my family, culture, upbringing ext.
To step into a Sales Position is for me stepping “out of character” in a way at least, is an Opportunity to do so.
What I have found is that I can still hold onto my own personal religion while walking this point which then in fact interfere with me really embracing this new endeavor, or I can really let go of all my preconceived opinions and allow myself to actually learn something new.
So far I have been up and down. Meaning I will at times realize that my uncertainties and doubts I have about the point is based on my own pre-programming and own personal religion of self and so thus I will stop myself from going into this and thus give myself the opportunity to actually learn something new. Where other times, I will fall and sink into just accepting my pre-programmed way of being which would really resist and react to a point like “being a sales man” simply based on how I was programmed through what I was taught through my life time.
So during the last few days, I have been supporting myself to stop my reactions and actually really see how many of the apparent problems, downfalls or limitations I have defined in relation to my job is actually simply “Just me” and really has nothing to do with the job at all.
From my perspective if I have any reaction coming up within me towards my job, than that is my responsibility and thus also indicate that I am really not yet standing in a point of actually optimizing my ability or potential within the point.
I see that I Have been very quick to judge and blame what is around me for my own inability to perform. At this stage I am looking at where and how I am the one who is actually standing in my own way and so am now looking at this point from the starting point of stopping ALL reactions towards my job as a guideline to utilize to assist and support myself to actually develop some effectiveness within this point, instead of doing what I have been doing which is to give in quickly to blame and just blaming the job or the different situations within the job as being the reason why “things aren’t working”
Specifically over the last few days, I have been supporting myself with applying Self Forgiveness on the ALL the reactions I could see coming up at work and in relation to work. This has assisted me during these past few days to actually go to work and stand in that position more effectively than I was able to when I was allowing myself to exist in blame and just allowing my reactions and resistances to run rampant within me.
I have noticed myself opening up allot more in communicating with people where now what I am looking at is the point of simply taking any reactions that come up in relation to any work related point and particularly also the point of communicating/ interacting with others within a sales environment, and thus taking those points/reactions and applying self forgiveness on them to assist and support myself to actually stop accepting and allowingmy reactions to eventually become my resistance which is what happens when I do not assist and support myself within actually investigating my reactions in writing and applying Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application so to be able to stand in a given point without going into or having reactions coming up within me.
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