Today at work when I arrived, I was ‘ready to go’. I had a mildly successful day the previous day so I was hoping to build off of that today. When I arrived and started work on the sales floor, I went into resistance which was like the opposite experience that I had been priming myself to have today at work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to polarize myself through by accepting and allowing myself to go into highly positive charges such as excitement, in this case in relation to my job, to then now have to end up going into the opposite of this which is like resistance, and feeling down and defeated as that point of balancing out the polarized experience that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be my own worst enemy when it comes to my job from the perspective of where I will accept and allow myself to justify how and why it is that things ‘are not working’ instead of focusing on Directing myself in a way that I realize will produce the best possible results possible. I realize that this back-chat within my mind will often come up when there is points about my job that I do not want to walk simply because I have resistance towards them because to walk these points I will have to step out of my comfort zone, which every time I get to that point of doing, I will ‘become my own worst enemy’ and rather ‘talk myself out of it’ through cleverly crafted justifications I speak to myself in my mind instead of pushing myself through the resistance I have which comes up when ever I am standing at a point ofchange.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my total Self Direction over to my ‘feelings and experiences’ from the perspective of where I have noticed for instance at work, I will base what I do primarily on ‘Feeling’ instead of what would be practically best. I have accepted and allowed my “feeling” to essentially manipulate me where I see that I have easily given into such ‘feelings’ which could come up as a fear or anxietyor resistance and that I have allowed this to still direct me quite extensively at work where I have not yet actually pushed myself beyond and through these feeling manipulation points because man they feel so real and so intense and so I submit to them instead of me Directing Myself Always in a Way that is best and most effective.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to work with this point of actually Directing Myself while I am at work, instead of allowing my feelings and emotions to direct me. This point of allowing feelings and experiences to direct me has become a problem at work and I see that it has in a way become more extensive because through time, what I have accepted and allowed is the pattern of giving into these experiences to the point of where now I will not even try to push through them when they come up but will immediately go into a kind of petrification because of having repeatedly through time allowed myself to over and over respond to for instance a fear that would come up within me in relation to the same point over and over until eventually I now find it very difficult to actually in that moment when the fear emerge DIRECT myself immediately to walk through the fearbecause in a way the fear has become more intense through allowing myself to layer it, in a way through time after time after time, submitting to it when it would come up instead of challenging it and pushing/moving myself through it immediately
I commit myself to assist and support myself to when and as I see a fear, doubt, anxiety, frustration, resistance, or any other feeling/emotion/experience that comes up at work in relation to when I am faced with a moment of change, that in such a moment, I take one single breath, and then Move/Direct Myself immediately to not allow myself to give myself the opportunity to go into the feeling/emotion experience and so this is the point I will commit myself to developing and practicing as a way to actually stop accepting and allowing myself to exist within my own self allowed Limitations particularly in relation to being at work where I see this point comes up quite a bit.
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