Fighting The Unfolding of my Reality – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 527

Things are getting busy for the next few days at work. I have been noticing this particular personality/character emerging/activating within me in relation to this point of things now getting busy for the next few days.

This is the “I don’t want to do it” character.

I have noticed this character come up in various instance before where normally the context is similar in terms of having to do with ‘work’ or ‘business’ or ‘responsibility’. I see that when I participate within and as this character that there is a consequence in my life because I end up “not wanting to do anything” and I go into an experience of ‘resistance’ or ‘fighting against’ the unfolding events within my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into resistance and/or ‘fighting against’ the unfolding events in my world through within accepting and allowing myself to go into a specific personality/character that I have developed throughout my life where I go into a reaction towards ‘working more than I have to’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to argue for my limitations and to limit myself through by accepting and allowing myself to exist in a way where I fight and resist my reality instead of embracing it and directing myself within and as it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘shut down’ as a kind of defence tactic I attempt to utilize when my schedule becomes more busy or that I have the impression that I will be more busy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as a character within myself that resist and fight against the unfolding events in my reality where instead of being HERE within breath and Directing each point that comes up in a way that is best for all, I go into resisting and fighting with what is here which I see, realize, and understand is a limitation and does not support me in establishing a harmony with the environment I live in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself through by accepting and allowing myself to participate with an inner character that resist and fight with and try and push away the responsibilities within my reality, often related to work/job and that within this, I have not effectively established for myself a Stability and Effectiveness within moving and directing myself within my reality in a way that is most supportive for me due to me accepting and allowing this Inner Character to come up and assert itself as the Character that I have created within and as myself that do not like it when things get busy, and when this occur go into a resistance towards my reality.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to Stand as this Character that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and exist as as the character that goes into fighting and resisting my reality whenever things get busy, particularly with work, and to within Standing as this Character, Forgive myself as this Character as an act of assisting and supporting myself to Transform myself from ‘inneffective living’ to ‘living to my utmost potential’. I see, realize, and understand that to go into fighting and resisting the points/responsibilities/obligations within my reality, that I end up really compromising myself because I am not supporting myself with developing my ability to Direct myself Effectively within my reality and within the System.

I can see that this is a specific Character/Personality that steps forth as a kind of “reaction” to my reality, and facing the reality of my life where for instance Financial Stability is a crucial component of this reality and thus a Responsibility, and that within facing the responsibilities of my reality this specific character comes up within me where I start to resist and fight with what is going on in my reality instead of embracing what is here and assisting and supporting myself to utilize what is here as an opportunity to direct myself and establish a Stability for myself within my life/the system. A point that I see, realize and understand I now must establish as a living application of myself, no more accepting and allowing myself to participate with this particular Character that I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me where I rather avoid Responsibility and basically see and view my reality as a Burden instead of Opportunities/Moments to Direct Myself, to embrace what is here and explore the moment, and actually really engage myself within my reality in a more participatory practical way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to retreat from my reality and hide from my reality where in this I see my responsibilities as burdens that I wish would go away, instead of points to open up and explore and see how I can use such Responsibilities or Tasks that come up in my reality as ways to Support myself and Stabilize myself within my reality to the best of my ability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a kind of passive approach to my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to quickly lose confidence in what I am doing in my reality where I just start to see my reality as a Dead End, as a Road to nowhere, as Pointless, and thus not wanting to engage with it.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to move myself from Resistance and Fighting against my reality to a point of embracing it and flowing with it where I assist and support myself to move and direct myself within my reality and the points which must be directed instead of just automatically going into fighting and resisting this, not stopping for a moment to breath and consider ‘why am I fighting with my reality anyways’ I mean, This reality is the reality I have created from myself and that to then go into ignoring it or fighting it is like a form of denial in a way, denying myself really, because I am ultimately powerless if I do nothing, if I do not engage my reality as my day to day living expression/practical participation.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to allow my reality to flow and to in this become a part of that flow through by directing myself to participate in my reality, in the fow of my reality, in the flow of events taking place and to see what and how I am able to direct, apply and express myself in a way that is supportive and effective.