I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I do not do art that I will not enjoy myself, and so have in a way manipulated myself with fear to not consider expanding myself within the context of developing other skills that would suppor me in this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto an idea that I formed when I was in my teenage years about “being an artist” and that I have accepted and allowed that idea that I formed in my past, influence and direct me now in my thirities where I become gripped with fear at the thought of “not doing art” or “changing my relationship to art” or that I will go into reaction which has inhibited my ability to consider expanding myself into other areas, any time I start to consider something outside the context of this idea of who I am in relation to art and being an artist that I formed when I was younger.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live as the Artist and actually within this, be flexible and expressive within my expression like an artist is supposed to be where in this, I allow myself to change my relationship with art and to reform this relationship in a way that more suits the context of my life now, and what I have realized and understood about myself, the world, and my life, now, and thus to ultimately reform this relationship into one that is based within what is best for all and so thus which I see is ultimately a priority reorganization.
When and as I see myself reacting within myself and I see that this reaction is related to when ever I am considering something that would threaten this “idea” I have formed about who I am in relation to art and about being an artist , I stop and I breath, I realize that these reactions are actually inhibiting me from really expanding myself within my expression within this world, and that it is necessary for me to actually reform my relationship with Art, and to within this align this point, this relationship, so that it stand within the context of what is best for all.
I see, realize, and understand that I have not actually done this, but that I am still accepting and allowing myself to be influenced and manipulated and go into reactions towards my current accepted idea/perception of Art based on the ideas, perceptions, dreams that I formed in relation to this when I was quite young. And so I commit myself to assist and support myself to reform my relationship to art/doing art so that this relationship stand within the context of what is best for all. I see that there is still aspects/parts of my relationship towards art that I am living that is standing within and as Self Interest that is actually compromising myself within my world, as I am not accepting and allowing myself to expand myself and my expression within the context of what is best for all in ways that actually support me to stand within the context of what is best for all.
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