Compensating Self Lack Through Relationships – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 514

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as limited and so then become pre-occupied with a relationship where I place my attention onto relationship because I have accepted and allowed myself to accept that I have already seen my end, that I already know who I am, and that within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept myself as inadequate, as limited, and to thus then start to look outside myself for my fulfillment, not considering the point of expanding who I am, not considering the point of developing a deeper self awareness of me, not considering the point that I am able to actually expand myself beyond my current accepted and allowed awareness of myself that I have allowed myself to believe is the beginning and end of me with nothing else of me left to give or express or be, but that “what you see is what you get” and that is who I am, that I am not capable of expanding me which is actually what is implied when I reach the end of me and instead of moving myself to, or considering the point of deepening my self awareness that I just avert my attention outside of me onto some external point like for instance ‘relationship’ where then I expect this relationship to fulfill me because I have already accepted that who I am is not enough, is not capable of satisfying me, and so that I need or require additional and external points to satisfy me, to entertain me, to compensate me for the “lack of substance” that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as, as that which I have accepted as the total me, with nothing else left within and as me to give, or be, or become, or express.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “want something” from a relationship and then to feel let down when I do not have that “want fulfilled” and that within this, have not considered MYSELF within this equation and that I was approaching the relationship already from this starting point of “wanting” which is indicating that already within and as myself there is a point of ‘wanting” and thus a form of “lack” that I have accepted and allowed to exist as myself. A point that I realize that I am responsible for and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt to hide from my experience of lack, of inadequacy, by placing my attention onto/into a relationship where I might for a moment be distracted from my actual SELF EXPERIENCE but that as soon as I am alone again, this experience of myself return and that here, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as unfulfillment and disappointment and that I have accepted and allowed myself to move my attention and awareness of myself into a relationship with someone or something else instead of stopping such reactions/experiences in the moment I see them emerge and to instead of participating with these reactions/experiences, or diverting my attention to some external point as a way to compensate for this experience,  to assist and support myself to Develop Self Stability within the context of realizing that Who I am ALONE is the Key, in where I see, realize, and understand that I must assist and support myself to Establish Stability with myself Alone, Fulfillment with myself Alone, Enjoyment with myself Alone where I must become the giver of these points for and as myself no more accepting and allowing myself to believe or perceive that I can get these from some external point outside myself such as a relationship. Or that diverting my attention into external relationships when faced with this Self Experience of Unfillment is actually a Solution.

When and as I see myself attempting to fulfil myself by diverting my attention into a relationship with expectations of being fulfilled by/through that relationship, I  stop and I breath. I realize that The Only Real Fulfillment that exist is Self Fulfillment. And so Here, I commit myself to give my attention to me, and to assist and support myself to explore what it is about me in my reality that is causing this dissatisfied or uncomfortable or negative experience of self, and to thus investigate possible solutions that I can apply for myself as a point of Self Movement, as a point of Self Support to thus here Take Responsibility for my Experience and thus then Align my application and Expression in a way to Develop a Relationship with myself from the perspective of where I am actually Stable and Content and Satisfied with Myself.

One point I am seeing here within this “Self Experience” is the point of accumulation, and the point of where I will accumulate an experience of self through accepting and allowing myself to participate in particular patterns over a period of time, and so then when an experience emerge or a discomfort of self emerge, to thus then consider that this was generated through a process of accumulation and to thus then take this into consideration in terms of one dimension to look at within the context of developing Solutions for Self Stability where, I do see this point of Consistency within my application of Self Support over a period of time is a point to consider and not to look at it from the starting point of “magic solutions” and “quick fixes” and so to thus within looking at solutions, look at points I can implement into my life that is something I can apply regularly, consistently as part of my daily moment by moment routine for instance.

 

Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution for a Failing Capitalism
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Solutions.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.

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