The point I am going to write about tonight is Victimization.
I have written about this point in the past and had specifically gone into the various dimensions of this point within my blogs but lately I have seen that I am still accepting and allowing myself to participate within and exist within the point of Victimization and that ultimately this existing within and as a Victim Character has really created some detrimental consequences in my life pointedly where in how I have completely disempowered myself within my daily living.
I can see this point of Victimization coming up still in different arenas of my life from addiction, to career, to sleep patterns, ect, where in a way this Victimization Character has become quite a primary Character for me in terms of how I Live and Participate in relation to all aspects of my life.
One of the prominent points that I have noticed taking place within and as this Victimization Character is the point of Giving Up where essentially that is what “The Victim” Does, it “Give’s Up” and so I look at all parts of my reality where I see I will “give up” and “give in” and there I see Victimization.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to write all about this point of Victimization/my ‘Victimization Character’ but then to not bring the awareness I developed in the point of self writing through into an actual physical practical Living Change where I thus then Stop Participating with and allowing this Victimization Character to influence me within how I am Living and Directing myself within my life. and that instead I accepted and allowed myself to go back into existing within and participating within and as Self Victimization in relation to points I am facing within myself and in my reality and that here, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to even realize that I was participating within Self Victimization because this Self Victimization has become so normal for me and so automatic that it more just become me in terms of how I ‘naturally’ experience myself and direct myself within myself and within my reality.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize, and understand that I am more than I am making myself out to be in terms of my actual ability to stand and direct myself in my reality in a way that is best for all, and that I have accepted and allowed myself to argue for my limitations with and through Victimizing myself where I then would quickly give up on something / points I am facing and make up some reason or justification for why that is, where the process of doing this, of giving up is the process and participation within and as Self Victimization.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I use the words “I can’t” that I am Speaking as the Character of Self Victimization and that here I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Justify the statement “I can’t” as if it is actually real, instead of Looking with Self Honesty at what is really going on and realizing that in Self Honesty the “I can’t” is actually an “I don’t want to” but that I have manipulated myself through Self Victimization to make it seem like “I can’t” so I can live with myself for giving up on myself when I was/am capable actually to Stand and Direct myself in various points that I “give up” on.
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to be infected with Victimization
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that I have accepted and allowed my infection of Victimization to spread throughout my life and find its way into all the different parts of my life, where the common symptom one can utilize to identify where self has been infected with Victimization is “Giving Up” and in this “Giving Up” making it seem like “there is no other choice”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that when “I want to do something else” from the perspective of where I postpone walking, living, directing that which is necessary, that which is a responsibility, that which will actually support me, and instead of doing this, just would rather do something ‘easier’ or that requires ‘less effort’ because to walk, live, and direct that which is necessary, that which Is a responsibility, that which actually supports me, and that which is best for all, is not always easy and so it will require effort and so here I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that when I reach that point where I think I can’t do any more and just want to give up now because “I have done enough” that that is Victimization because one must wonder why one would not do everything within ones capacity to become a more effective human being but would justify actions that are actually Diminishing Self and so here to realize that Victimization is actually a point of accepting a lesser version of Self and Justifying it.
I see soooooo many moments during my day where I have accepted and allowed myself to Victimize myself. It starts in the morning as soon as I wake up and either decided to get up and start directing myself or to allow myself to diminish myself by sleeping-in through Victimizing myself in relation to the Decision that is here to Direct myself to get up and start my day or to continue sleeping. Where I will either Victimize myself through by making it out to seem like “ I just can’t do it” or I will NOT accept and allow the point of Victimization and Simply Move myself to my Utmost potential in that moment and actually Direct myself in a way that really support me to become more effective in my living which in many cases is to Direct myself to get up start my day.
Then now its breakfast and I must decide what I shall eat. The point of Victimization comes in when I am not willing to do what is best for me in that moment, but I will compromise, I will diminish myself and accept a lesser version of myself by not doing what is best for me to support myself in the most effective way possible. And so for instance maybe I will skip breakfast because I “don’t want to spend the time making it” So here I see the point of Victimization is that point where I will “Give In” to the resistance I have to actually doing what is best for me. Because its like there is always this “internal battle” going on within self where the mind is trying to assert itself and say for instance “nawww just skip breakfast today” but underneath that is the acceptance of “its easier and I don’t have to put out the effort”. And there is a part of you that wants to put out the effort but “you just can’t find the will within you to push through that resistance and do it” and its that statement, that point of “just not being able to find the will within to do it” that is Victimization, because I am seeing, realizing, and understanding that I actually could and there is so many things in my life where I will face that Moment of Decision to either Stand or Give In, to either Direct myself in a way that is Best for ALL and Best for Me, or to just go with the half measure and accept a limited version of myself ‘because its eaier’, and so when I am faced with Such Decisions, this is where the point of Self Victimization comes up as the process that I go through within myself to Justify accepting the lesser version of myself to “talk myself out of” doing what is actually Best for me and for all.
I will continue in my next blog, at investigating now how to actually Change this point so that I bring it into a Physical Living Application so to no more accept and allow this point of Self Victimization to be the dominant character in my moment to moment decision making within my life.
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