Giving Up Your Will and Determination For Life – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 507

Regret

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to align myself to my emotions and feelings to tell me what to do and within this directing myself according to feelings and emotions instead of principles.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Justify aligning myself with my emotions and feelings in terms of how I am making my decisions, using such justifications as

“I will just do it this one time”

“This emotion/feeling is just to strong and powerful”

“I am too weak compared to this emotion and feeling”

“I am not doing anything wrong”

“Its just too much”

“one day I will stop”

And to within using these excuses as well as others, accept and allow myself to become an emotional and feeling driven being even when I see that to allow my life, my decisions, my behaviors, my in-the-moment direction to be influenced by emotions and feelings is to actually compromise my Self Directive Ability because now I have accepted and allowed emotions and feelings to override SELF Direction, to where now I am directed by emotions and feelings in what I do on a day to day basis.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to override principle with emotions and feelings where I continually allow myself to base my decisions on emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed Myself as Me Directing Myself in Principle to be overridden by emotions and feelings where I will use the excuse of “I will get it next time” or “next time I will not allow this” and that I have done this time and time again to the degree where “the next time” has long passed yet I still accept and allow myself to postpone myself Taking Directive Principle for myself and stopping accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my power and directive principle to my emotions and feelings.

In taking a look at some of the primary emotions/feelings that I see that I am currently accepting and allowing myself to be directed by, that I am accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my Directive Principle to, the primary emotion/feeling that come up at the moment is “Apathy”. Only this “Apathy” is a kind of “giving up” and I can also see this a form of depression, like when one “just don’t have it in themselves” its like when there is no will, or no motivation to actually Stand and Direct oneself but rather one end up accepting and allowing self to exist within a perpetual “giving up” state which is like Apathy But it is Apathy mixed with Passivity.

Our World is built on competition. I was watching some wolf documentaries a few weekends ago and one of the things about the wolf packs is its all about hierarchy where its like a constant negotiation of hierarchy within the pack and that your position in your pack in a way determine your experience and your life, and I mean if one is persistent enough then they would eventually move up in the ranks.

This also reminds me of a story  I herd about a Rooster who lost its will to live really. It arrived at a certain point in its life and it simply could no longer compete with the other younger Roosters and It basically just gave up and got all depressed.

So I can relate to this in terms of this point that I am writing about now about being Apathetic mixed with Passivity, where ultimately its like I have just accepted my programming as the Dominant force within me and in a way entered into this state of submission. Where is like “I have not fight left”

So I will continue to open this point up in further blogs because I see that this has become a repeating point for me lately where I have accepted and allowed myself to “give way” to this experience of feeling like “What’s the Point” or “Who Cares” where I have not accepted and allowed myself to in such moments, stand up and Direct Myself within a Principle Based Living, but will give up in these moments, and abandon my Principled Living Stance, and in doing this, end up rendering myself into a ‘non-factoring’ life form, where it really does not matter if I am here or not, because my living has become in a way subdued and really non-contributive to my environment.

So from here I will be investigating this further and investigating how to get myself back into a Principled Living Application where my being here is actually relevant from the perspective of actually being a Participant of Life that is contributing to Life in a Way that is Beneficial in Fact.

 

Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution for a Failing Capitalism
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Solutions.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.

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