Today I got a text from my mom who was wondering “how my tooth was”. A couple weeks back we spoke and mentioned that I was having a tooth ache.
I have been living with pain in my tooth now from about 6 months, and previously before this, I had a problem with one of my teeth in the left side of my mouth where I was constantly getting food in it and basically instead of directing the point by going to get it fixed I just went ahead an ‘managed it’ by just stopping eating food on that side of my mouth. I have been doing that for around 4 years now.
I basically stopped going to the Dentist when I turned 18 and my parents stopped making me go – basically when I became a ‘legal adult’ in my country which is the age of 18.
So I simply stopped going to the dentist because I did not like going, but also because I never knew how to go. I mean it was like ‘new’ to go by myself and go to the dentist, its like I didn’t really know how it worked. It seemed complicated.
I have this memory from when I was really young of my Dad making me put gas in the car. I really did not want to do it because I was afraid to. I had never done it, I don’t know how to put gas in the car, why is he making me do this. But I understood that I had to learn how to do it at some point. Its interesting how such simple points can be such ‘sticking points’ where one just refuse within oneself to do it and just avoid it and avoid it, one of the reasons being, is that “it is new” or “it is something that one has not done before”
So I stopped going to the dentist.
I really disliked going to the Dentist and the Doctor, its like I am in denial that my Physical Body actually needs care so in the meantime I simply “will” for things to “just be fine” so that I do not have to go to the Dentist or the Doctor.
I can see that another point coming into play here is the relationships I formed with the System. When I turned 18 I started getting these strange letters in the mail from the IRS telling me I owed money……bla, bla, bla…I stopped reading around there and just threw the letters out – I mean obviously this was junk mail, after all, I am 18 fricken years old, I never signed up for anything! I didn’t realize that this was related to healthcare and taxes and I was being billed for my health care – In short – I had no idea how the system worked, and I started early to develop a very “stand-offish” and neglectful relationship towards the System.
Fastforward 14 years and here I am not wanting to go the Dentist because this is a practical part of Life that I have been avoiding for over a decade now. One of the “hold-ups” is that I don’t have health care. Health Care is related to “The System” and I have “not bothered” to registar for health care service which I see is simply a consequence of existing within my accepted and allowed ‘stand-offish’ / ‘neglectful’ relationship with the system.
I Never wanted anything to do with the system when I was younger. I believed I could escape it. I did not ever want to work a 9 to 5 job. I never paid my taxes for 6 years, It was like I never had a stable relationship with the system. The system was more something that was just ‘there’ and here I was living my own life and it was like I just never could really establish a solid relationship with the system, I felt like it was such an inconvenience and in some way it is, in terms of how the system is currently set up where it really does not serve the people, but more just restrain them. But ultimately the concept is cool and I realize that there is some good facets of the system like for instance healthcare to name one, that is worth the paper work.
Working with the system is like reading the fine print which is something that was never my strong point. I more just used my “intuition” – What a Fuck Up!
So in essence I never learned to take care of myself in terms of being able to maintain an effective relationship with the System. It was always like “too much work” and “such an effort” and so I normally ended up just giving up or doing as little as possible to get by, or just ignoring and neglecting it completely.
The last time I regularly went to the Dentist is when My parents facilitated the point….well actually I went once about 4 years ago to get a problem tooth pulled. But I mean, in terms of actually “having a dentist” or “Having a Doctor” I don’t have that. That is likely more related to my “loner personality” and not really being one to have those kinds of relationships.
Obviously this is quite a fuck up. Ok so here I just started to open up this point because I realize that I must correct this relationship I have with the system, and the various branches of the system.
Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution for a Failing Capitalism
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desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Solutions.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.