The point with Art at the moment is tricky because it has been a slow month this month so far and instead of really pushing myself in the art point which is my current job, to bring the point of financial stability through, I more just kind of accepted it and from a certain perspective gave up on doing this, where I see I was having this reaction of “what’s the point”, “this will never work”, and that ultimately I allowed this reaction to direct me throughout the week.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit to the fears and reactions I have in relation to art when ever money gets tight, where instead of assisting and support myself to push the point to investigate and open up any and all opportunities that might be available to me, I instead start to retract into myself, into the isolation of my mind and more just shut down.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think to myself “what’s the point” in relation to my current job working in the art industry where I have accepted and allowed myself to give into this experience within myself where I believe that there is no possible way I will actually have success in this industry and so here, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the back of my mind, hold onto this accepted and allowed belief that, “I will never have any success with my art” and so when for instance money gets tight, I will start to think to myself “of course, I knew it” and will virtually immediately give up from the perspective of not pushing myself within this point but rather go to the opposite in a way of more starting to shut-down, believing within myself that “there is no point”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be absolutely controlled by this “there’s no point” experience, essentially where I believe that I will Never have any success with my art and so when ever I am met with the slightest adversity, I use this as an indication that “I am right – I knew this wouldn’t work” and within this not realizing that this is a doubt that I am constantly burdened by, though do not really fully comprehend the content of this doubt, but that I More just accepted it at face value because it seems to be constantly here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear doing something other than art and that I believe I will be miserable if I do.
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to be stuck in this point of “doing art” but within this accepting that I am limited within my art, that “things will never really work out” and so from a certain perspective am only approaching it from a very limited perspective or that I am in fact working against myself due to existing in the belief that failure is just around the corner and so then don’t really bother pushing myself within the point because I am in a way just waiting for things to eventually fade out and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am completely incapable of establishing a System within which I can utilize to support myself to generate money with my art and to also within this of course develop my skills and ability and service as an Artist.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to investigate further and in detail this point of where I just completely give up on myself when ever I am faced with this point of exploring and expanding and testing other points that I could do as an Artist to further develop my Career as an Artist.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to investigate the “fear of change” in relation to this moment where I will be faced with this point of “feeling like nothing is going to work” where I will give in to it time and time again, instead of assisting and supporting myself to change this pattern and automated behavior and thus to actually change and become and be something other than what I am currently existing as at the moment.
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