The last couple days I have been writing about consciousness and the dependency I have created on this consciousness to where it now is quite consuming and constantly demanding my attention throughout the day.
Today I found this same point coming up where I had this urge to “feed this consciousness” to just give it some kind of attention for a moment or 2 which I realize is the point I must break out of.
Despite writing about this point the past 2 days, I have found that the point hasn’t “let up” or that rather, I haven’t let go of my dependency that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within in relation to my consciousness because this is the point I see that requires the re-alignment where it is MY participation within the mind that is the point I must Correct and so its not a point of waiting for the mind/consciousness to “let up” but rather it’s the relationship that I have formed as my interaction, engagement and participation with and as consciousness/the mind that I see is the point that is within my Directive Principle where I here assist and support myself to change this relationship from the perspective of how I participate within and as this point.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need consciousness meaning where I believe I need to participate in my mind, and so within this belief, accept and allow myself to “go into” the mind/consciousness instead of stepping out of the mind, and disentangling myself from the hold that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition the mind and consciousness to have over me.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to “think twice” before I move myself into the mind and start to feed the mind/consciousness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify feeding my mind/consciousness, believing that I must do this, that if I don’t do this, my life will be boring and excruciating and I will be miserable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that moment when I decide to not participate in once again just feeding the mind, where here i fear that moment when I decide to actually direct myself to do something that actually has some value and substance to me, I fear that because I fear that perception of excruciating boredom that I believe will be what I will experience, which is why I then just quickly go ahead and just feed the mind, because then I am safe and do not have to face this big scary moment of perceived boredom which is essentially the experience of the addict not getting the fix – ultimately the point being faced is REALITY in the Simplicity of Itself without the dependency on a “high”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will be miserable if I do not consistently feed the mind/ my consciousness in a way where I at least do this sometimes during my day simply as a point of making it so things “are not so boring”
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to justify “feeding the mind”/”feeding my consciousness” by/through the statement “but I don’t know what else to do” and so in moments, instead of stopping myself and directing myself to actually change my living behavior from “Living in the Mind” to Living and Directing Myself within what is real as this physical reality, I just instead go ahead and “feed the mind” justified by the accepted and allowed idea of “not knowing what else to do”
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to Direct myself to “find something else to do” that is actually productive, instead of resorting to just “feeding the mind” as per habit.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to when and as I see I am faced with a moment of where I see that I am about to go into a point of just “feeding the mind” or “feeding my consciousness” that I commit myself to stop and breath. I realize that it is in such moments when I see that I am about to go into the pattern of feeding my mind, that these such moments are Perfect Moments to assist and support myself to Re-Direct myself into and as Self Supportive Behaviors. And so I commit myself to when I am facing such moments of “just wanting to feed the mind” and I see the excuse of “I don’t know what else to do” to stop myself from “just going into the pattern of feeding/entertaining the mind” that in such moments I commit myself STOP and Breath. I realize that the reason “I don’t know what to do” is not because there is nothing to do or that I am not capable of Directing myself into finding something to do but that it is because the points that I see I could do do not support the mind or my programmed consciousness and so I actually resist doing these ‘other’ things because they do not feed the mind/consciousness and so I will go into resisting these points.
I realize that whenever I just allow myself to go into the point of “feeding the mind” that I am in essence procrastinating – procrastinating the point of me supporting me to change myself and Direct Myself in a way that is actually best for me and best for ALL.
I commit myself to realize that I must assist and support myself to really slow myself down and bring myself HERE to the Physical in these moments where I am “just wanting to feed the mind/consciousness” And to thus in Slowing myself down when facing such moments, give myself the opportunity to re-direct myself into moving/directing myself in a way that is much more substantial and beneficial to me and Life, instead of where in not slowing myself down and just accepting and allowing myself to go into the mind/into feeding the mind, I end up just becoming my own worst enemy and detriment to myself because I did not take a moment, stop, and take a breath, and really slow myself down until I am here with myself calm and stable in my Human Body, and thus, when I am Calm and Here and Breathing in and as My Human Physical Body, I can then Direct myself to Move myself in a Practically Supportive Way, instead of just not bothering to slow myself down and stop myself where Id end up just “going with it” and going right into the application of feeding the mind”
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