The point I have been looking at the past few days is just how much I am addicted to my consciousness – to the stream and flow of thoughts and imaginations, and feelings, and experiences generated within the mind.
One of the primary components of this addiction is feelings and emotions, which is also a form of energy.
I have been noticing how much I participate in my mind and within this become completely unaware of the physical. Its like I just become consumed by this ‘experience’ that I am having where this experience and ‘creating an experience’ becomes like the driving force, the purpose of my life.
I have lived my entire life existing in this inner consciousness until what has happened is that this inner consciousness has become my god, it has become my companion, it has become my constant pre-occupation.
So, what I see is necessary is for me to let go of this addiction to consciousness, to the mind, to thoughts, feelings and emotions, and align myself and my living to the Physical. To Physical Reality. Not Consciousness Reality.
I have not really ever defined myself as an ‘emotional person’. I more see/seen myself as someone who is not really that emotionally charged but who is more Stable and Grounded. But I have noticed that I am actually driven and influenced by my emotional experience quite allot within my life. Where in fact I am not actually that grounded and stable in the physical but am still quite dependant on my emotional and feeling experiences to drive me, to influence me, to direct me, to motivate me. What is seems more like, is that I created an idea of myself as someone who is “stable”, but what I realize is that I am not in fact “Physically Stable” meaning where I am actually Living and Stable Here in every breath in and as What is REAL as this Physical Reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submerge myself within the various energetic experiences within myself and to have allowed these various energetic experiences to direct and influence me within my day to day life, instead of me being the Directive Principle of Myself where I move myself in and as breath, directing myself based on practical common sense insight, not an emotional and feeling drive that I have accepted and allowed to become that which I base my movement, decisions, and application upon.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify participating in my various “energy experiences” where I will see that I am doing it but will make it out to be “no big deal” then suddenly days, weeks, months pass and I have not stopped myself from accepting and allowing myself to be directed by my emotions and feelings and now I find myself actually more consumed by these experiences, more tied up, and lost within them, and less oriented to What is Real, to “The Physical”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get sucked into my emotional and feeling experiences where I have become more integrated into these such experiences because I have accepted and allowed myself to justify moments of participating in them where I allow such emotional/feeling experiences to direct and influence me instead of taking those moments as moments when I assisted and supported myself to Establish Myself and My Participation HERE in the Physical, Walking, Living, Directing Myself HERE within and as My Human Physical Body, Moving myself within the context of practical common sense.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to BREATH. And to use Breath as an ANCHOR to What is Real, which is the Physical. And to within Breath and Breathing to support myself to Stand Here and to Live HERE in and as the Physical and thus stopping my participation within and as my Consciousness as the Mind as the thoughts, and particularly here my emotional and feeling experiences, and to so thus Breathe and Align myself and my living to the Physical, breath by breath, moment by moment.
I commit myself to Breathe, and to Stop Justifying my participation in consciousness and in the mind as thoughts feelings and emotions, and so to In Breath, Anchor myself within and as the Physical HERE, so that I no more accept and allow myself slip away into the thoughts, feelings and emotions of consciousness where I drift away and get lost at sea only to reamerge days, weeks, even months, years later not having done anything substantial with my life, because I was Not Here Anchored to what is Real, Directing Myself and My Reality, because I was consumed within myself within the endless ocean that is my consciousness – lost at sea. And so I commit myself to Breath and to in and as Breath, Anchor Myself in and as the Physical so that I can assist and support myself to become self directed and moving myself in my reality in a Substantial way, instead of just floating aimlessly in the mind.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to find other tools I can utilize to anchor myself in and as the physical to not get lost in the mind. Where within my day to day living I assist and support myself to Live Here in the Physical and to will myself to find ways to support myself to Live Here in and as the Physical in Each Breath, because in each breath, I must decide who I will be, and how I will exist, either “Lost at Sea” within the consciousness of my mind, or, HERE, Grounded, Anchored, In The Physical, In that which is Real, and Substantial.
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