I am not yet seeing any points to write about this evening. It is a bit later than usual tonight when I am starting my blog. I worked late tonight. I was at a big Gala – the place where I work had a booth where we were showcasing some of our products. It’s the kind of event that you buy a ticket and then they have really good food and there is wine tasting. It is quite a big event actually.
I went to work earlier today to finish my sculpture so that it would be ready for the event tonight. I finished earlier than expected so decided to come home and do a few things that I would have normally done in the evening. When I got home I decided that I would lay down and have a nap first. That is like quite uncharacteristic of me because normally I am not home during the days and normally at this stage in my life I do not have naps, but I decided I had the time available and so decided to have one.
I set my alarm for about 40 minutes and then when I woke up I decided to sleep for another 15 minutes. After I woke up and got up I experienced some guilt. This is because ‘sleep’ is a point that I have actually been deliberately taking on recently as I am busy with walking a process where I Direct myself to get up on the first breath In the morning and not allow myself to linger in bed and linger in my mind essentially. So this afternoon, I see that I allowed myself to actually go into that point of when I wake up, instead of getting directly up, I will instead go into “inner dialog” about getting up, instead of just immediately directing myself to sit up and get out of bed on the first breath, and be immediately directive.
The point I am working with now is the point of not only getting up in the first breath, but getting up and being immediately directive, which I have added to the application. So for instance because before what was happening was that I was getting up but then I would go sit on my bed to ‘stabilize’ myself but I could also see that this “sitting on my bed” was a point that was more oriented still with “wanting to sleep” or “avoiding self direction” which was the entire reason behind why I decided to work on this sleep point to begin with, So now I am testing the point of when I get up to immediately move myself into the directing myself weather that be to get ready for work, or doing a bit of writing, or even going to put the coffee on with the point being of to when and as I get up in the first breath, to not just then mosey around and still exist within that point of “waking up” but rather to move myself to be immediately directive with and as my Full Attention – because at the end of the day – Should I not be the one that decide if I am full attention or not? I mean is that not what free choice is all about.
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