Quit Stealing My Success – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 466

Angel Demon

Recently at work I have started to notice this interesting reaction within myself towards my co-workers when they start to have some success. I have had some success at work these past few weeks but I have noticed that as soon as my co-workers start to have some success, I will react. I will react to the degree that I see within myself “I secretly don’t want my co-workers to succeed”. In fact I noticed today that one of my co-workers was on the sales floor speaking to some customers about a product and I was in the back-room, and I could see within myself this point within me where I was “hoping he would not have success” Logically it would make sense that I would encourage my co-workers and be happy for their successes but I have in fact noticed the opposite reaction within me. What is also revealing is that I have been having some success at work in recent weeks so it would make sense that because of me having success that I would be more willing to be supportive of another actually having some success also, but this was not the case.  Still within myself I did not want my co-worker to succeed and I was actually relieved when he did not.

One point that I see within this reaction is the idea I have that “there is only so much to go around” This idea is definitely an offspring of capitalism where there is not enough money to go around and so individuals must fight each other for what is available instead of simply sharing equally.

I see this point as being linked to survival where for instance I will go into survival mode and really just want every last scrap that is available to be had.

Within myself I could see exactly what was happening within me yet at the same time it was like this experience was completely ‘locked-in’.

Despite my “intention” of wanting to be supportive of my co-workers, the actual experience within me was implying I did in fact Not want this and would prefer if they did not succeed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself within this capitalistic system of making money and because I do not trust myself, instead of standing within and as myself in Self Trust, I look at and worry about what others are doing and try and pull others down instead of supporting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define others as responsible for my effectiveness from the perspective of where I will constantly be looking at others and concerned with what others are doing instead of focusing on my application and assisting and supporting myself to use my time effectively and wisely in a way where I am developing the necessary skills to be effective.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the success of others means that I will be less successful from the perspective that there is only so much to go around and so when I see others having some success, I go into fear and believe that “that should have been me” or “I wish that was me”. Because ultimately I fear and believe I will fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself in my ability to be effective in a capitalistic system where if I have some success, that that is not enough, because even in having success I am still here accepting and allowing myself to doubt myself and exist in fear of “when it will be over” essentially still accepting and allowing myself to define the success I have as a fluke instead of within myself assisting and supporting myself to direct myself in every breath in ways which will support me to stabilize my effectiveness within a capitalistic system and here I see that if I am still going into fear in relation to whether or not I will be effective or have success is indicating that I am still separating myself from this potential/skill/application.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “secretly not want my co-workers to have success” instead of investigating ways we can all be successful together equally in a stable consistent manner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just want to have everything for myself – despite the fact that this is completely irrational – where I will only be satisfied to give to others if I have enough for myself first, and within this look for ways for me to succeed as an individual first before I will think about others, instead of investigating and exploring ways we can all succeed together at the same time.

When and as I see myself going into reaction when I see that my co-workers are having success and I have that experience of jealousy and resentment come up within me towards my co-worker for them having success, I stop and I breath and I bring myself back to the moment. I realize that there is still allot I can do in terms of assisting and supporting myself to develop the skills to establish a more effective stability in terms of having success in a capitalistic system. Thus, when ever I have this experience coming up within me towards my co-workers I will utilize this as a reminder to actually re-look at how I am applying myself within my life and simply “bring the point back to self” in terms of looking at what areas I can support myself within to assist and support myself to become more stable within my success rate in a capitalistic system like for instance I can look at Self Discipline, or Time Management, or Paperwork, etc… and so here I commit myself to work with myself at standing equal to the system so that I do not go into reactions based on fear about my capacity to ‘succeed’ and so here just bringing the point back to self, and looking at what I can do and how I can direct myself to become more stable and effective within my own application to make the best use out of my time, and thus in this strengthening my ability to be consistently effective within the context of our world.

Basic Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution Presented by the Equal Life Foundation
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
equalmoney.org – Learn What Equal Money is all about and Vote on Goals and Principles
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Solutions.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.

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