A Life of Disappointment – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 451

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by a thought that tells me to ‘just go for it’ where I will go into participating with simply entertaining myself as a form of distraction instead of directing myself in a way that will have an accumulative affect of actually benefiting me in my self development.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide within distractions while telling myself “there is not enough time in the day” to do that which I know will be of benefit towards me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to use writing as a tool to actually support me stop myself from existing as a slave to my own procrastination and self-sabotage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the resistance to supporting myself and doing/living what is best for all influence me and direct me where I will instead of directing myself to move myself in a way that is self supportive such as doing my writings or self education or supporting myself with the necessary points to stand financially stable within my world, will allow resistance to “tell me what to do” where I will just go into participating with some form of entertainment such as watching TV or scrolling around through facebook even though I see that it is of no actual benefit to me but is more just ‘avoiding the point’ of doing something that will actually benefit me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in entertainment – or at least try and attempt to hide in entertainment where instead of spending the extra time I have in the day putting my attention to something productive and self supportive I will sink this time into entertainment and essentially not support me to develop the skills and ability and  self will to bring my living expression to a point of satisfaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to align myself with patterns that have accumulated into a total dissatisfaction within myself towards who I am and to have repeated these such patterns over and over again almost like trying to bury my dissatisfaction with the same patterns that created the dissatisfaction in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the living manifestation of “what’s the use” where essentially I stop myself before I really ever take anything on, stopping myself because within myself I “don’t see myself as following through anyways” and so never even bother trying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to entertainment – to the energetic experience I get while laying back and entertaining myself and that I have accepted and allowed the addiction to such an energy direct me to participate in patterns that lead to self diminishment as I am not directing myself effectively in my reality in a way that is practically effective but rather conforming more to patterns that give me the feelings that I like and am addicted to regardless of if these patterns support me or not and so have essentially become preoccupied by “good feelings” which I have become addicted to instead of practical living that accumulate into that which is best for all.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to utilize my writing as a practical support tool to assist and support me to stop my mind from the perspective of accepting and allowing myself to be directed by my inner resistance experience.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop hiding in entertainment and instead utilizing my extra time in a way that is self supportive so that I am actually satisfied with myself at the end of the day and thus am really accumulating a Life that I am satisfied with which at the moment I can see is NOT the case, that if I look at my life now that I am completely dissatisfied with it from what I see is coming from accepting and allowing myself to live in a way that I know is not fully supporting myself which I have been doing for years, which really accumulate over this time into a point of immense dissatisfaction that I have come to learn to live with.

I see here how I have essentially allowed myself to be directed by ‘feelings and emotions’ as the experiences that I have become addicted to, that ‘feel good’ but that don’t actually result in any real Self Benefit in terms of actually becoming a more effective human being and that ultimately these ‘feelings and emotions’ that I have become addicted to is not in the end something that produce actual Self Satisfaction but more exist within the realm of the ultimate consumer ideal of and as the quick fix where I will constantly go for the quick fix instead of walking patterns that produce an actual real Self Satisfaction that comes with really doing and living in a way that I see I am capable of which is also related to walking living what is best for all.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to face my resistance that comes up to actually supporting myself and in facing this, to instead of “giving into it” and just going into a point of ‘entertainment’ in terms of how I spend my time, to rather stop and breathe and in moments where I am wanting to just ‘entertain myself’ to rather moving myself in a more specific and deliberate way in a way that will result in a point of Real Satisfaction with myself which I see will come if I actually do that which I know is best for me and supports me which is not an over indulgence in entertainment and self distraction, but rather is aligned with living a life within and as the principle of what is best for all

 

 

Basic Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution Presented by the Equal Life Foundation
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
equalmoney.org – Learn What Equal Money is all about and Vote on Goals and Principles
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Soluitons.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.

 

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