Destined For Failure – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 440

loss

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not capable of directing my life particularly within the context of career and money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within the idea/acceptance that I have created that I am not capable of directing my career/financial stability effectively to in this go into an experience of feeling disempowered and defeated and essentially end up living out this accepted belief in actual reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a consistent state of uncertainty, turmoil, and disappointment within myself because I believe that I am not capable of actually making any decisions that is in fact best for me within the context of work/job/career. And so basically experience myself as a failure every day which obviously has an impact on my functional effectiveness within my reality, because I find this experience becomes so much that it completely overwhelm me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself live under the assumption that I am actually not capable of making effective decisions regarding my life and in particular regarding career/money/job and so am in a kind of constant doubt within myself towards the decisions I have made and am living or am going to make or will make in the future, essentially creating an instability and anxiety within myself that I have just come to “learn to live with” because I feel as though “its just the way it is” and “I don’t see it changing any time soon” and “I don’t have the ability to change”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see it as a “safe bet” to underestimate myself because then in this way even the tiniest things that work out in my favor is like a kind success to me and so in a way by underestimating myself I never really “fail” because I never really try, but ultimately I completely limit myself within my expression and capacity because I will never really set challenging goals and go for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just assume that everything I try will fail, this way I won’t have to be let down when/if something fail because in a way my expectation was failure to begin with so its not like “I got my hopes up”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “assume failure” as a way to not get my hopes up and thus protect myself from the eventual fail which I kind of expect to take place.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to trust myself within my life and within the decisions I make in my life to have the results that are practically affective and so this then gets back to me doubting my practical assessment of reality which is like a form of “doubting the math”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the only way I will have success in my life is to work more and that is the only way, and so have formed this experience of dread towards my daily living because I fear spending all my time just working so that I can have success in my life in terms of career and job where I have come to believe that this is the only way, and the way that I will achieve this without stopping to ask myself or investigate why I have come to believe that this is the only way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must stretch myself beyond my means to have success in the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly fear that “I am not doing enough”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my current job where its like I just generate doubt and doubt and doubt within myself towards this job, which ultimately create such an experience uselessness within myself towards my job that it makes it difficult to go there and perform effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my practical assessment of reality where I do not trust myself to make a practical decision in relation to establishing financial stability within my life and so end up doubting every choice and decision I make

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overcomplicate my current Job, instead of just sticking to the practical walking and application of the job and trusting this process to have the results if I simply be consistent within my application. I have done the math, now it is time to simply walk and ensure I am walking the basic time requirements to ensure the proper outflow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I just don’t have what it takes to make practically effective decisions about my life that will result in financial stability and so naturally am skeptical of every decision I make where I define it as “a lie” or “short sighted” or “self interested” or “destined to fail”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life is destined to fail and so spend my hours running around attempting in fear to outrun this ‘destined failure’ which create quite an experience of anxiety allot of the time where I am living in paranoia of suddenly things falling apart, as if “this is just destined to happed” due to me believing that I am incapable practical effective decision making.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have placed the point of my reality being stable and effective within the context of money “out there” where its like some point that will only exist somewhere in the future where I am in this implying and accepting that this is not something I see myself or expect myself to be capable of doing here and now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be surprised when a point actually work out in a way that I define as good, because I tend to assume that this never happens and so really approach all situations from a skeptical point of view, assuming they will fail or not be good decisions defining and seeing this as the norm.

I will continue opening up this point in other blogs.

 

Basic Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution Presented by the Equal Life Foundation
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
equalmoney.org – Learn What Equal Money is all about and Vote on Goals and Principles
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Soluitons.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

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