Today I drove into the city to buy some frames for my paintings and other art supplies. Today is normally my day off so I understood that doing this task today is moving myself beyond my threshold of “what I normally do in a week” so the this was just a point I was aware of and observed as I walked my day to ensure that I remain stable in my day.
At this point I am experiencing myself as if “I never got done what I wanted to get done this week”. I am still working on Stabilizing myself in applying myself effectively each day of the week so that I do get done what I am required to get done and thus am moving myself practically effectively in the system so to support myself within my life.
Today I went into this “I give up” experience with my Art. I can see that this is in relation to how things are moving currently with this point where the Money is not yet coming in in a way that makes the points sustainable. This I see was triggered because I went and bought some supplies today where I basically took the money that I made on a painting I sold and I invested it back into my art by buying more supplies that was required.
Though really do not want to write about this point of “Art” again. I have been writing about this point allot recently and I really don’t want to write about it anymore. I don’t want to write about it because its seems so banal.
It also seems so empty.
Because there is more important things to do with my life?
This is an experience that comes up allot in relation to my Art, and my recent endeavors into this point.
I enjoy doing art, and so what I am doing now is art, though yes, it is ‘art within the context of capitalism’ so that definitely change art so from this perspective it is “art within a very specific context”
The thought “how long can I keep this up for” came up inside me today. Here I experience myself as if I am constantly trying to hold myself together each week and also within this I see this relationship where Its almost like I am trying to force this art point to work asap as if it is supposed to work right away, not considering that I really more just started developing this point again in the last few months so really I would say practically speaking that I should give this point at least a year before I am able to in fact make some kind of assessment in terms of the movement or practicality of this point being able to provide some sustenance to my life. So, In a word – PATIENCE.
From my perspective this experience of “wanting to give up” on art is not valid and so rather than going into this point and into the mind and participating with all the contents that make up this entire experience of “wanting to give up” such as participating with the energetic experiences and specific programmed thoughts that stream through my mind, I see here rather the point is to simply realize that this is exactly the time for me to just remain stable in my application and continue to walk the point and assist and support myself in walking the practical tasks associated with this and not going into the “I have failed Character/Personality” just because I am not yet having fireworks going off left and right as this blowing into an amazing success like my wildest dreams/imaginations are indicating it should – lol. So breath and be practical and simply walk the practical tasks as a point of accumulating the point bit by bit. I mean fruit trees to not produce fruit overnight – there is a real process of accumulation in time that takes place for the point to mature. It cannot be rushed. So a question/point. Is the reason I am having this experience of ‘feeling like I have failed” or “wanting to give up” related to the point that I have separated myself from reality to such a degree that I have very little practical context for how the physical reality actually move where Id ‘expect and believe’ that ‘things should have worked by now’. Instead of realizing that really, years must be specifically allocated to a point like this to build it up? And so the next question is – “Am I willing to give years to such a point?” Ok just some investigations into this point – thats all for now.
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
equalmoney.org – Learn What Equal Money is all about and Vote on Goals and Principles
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Soluitons.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs