Feeling Like There’s Something Missing – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 413

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my life around feelings and emotions where I do this in relationships as well where its like I want some feeling or emotions to tell me who I am and how I should go about directing myself in relation to it/something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to experience certain experiences in relation to ‘having a relationship/agreement’ with someone where I based the relationship/agreement on the feelings and experiences I have where I have made this my ‘relationship guidelines’ and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make feelings and emotions my relationship guidelines and in this search for and hope for a relationship that will make me feel a certain way that I must have experienced at some point in my life because I wonder what is this ‘vague expected feeling’ that I am wanting/searching for and secondly is it Valid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as dead inside and to thus want to replace this experience of deadness/dullness with positive feelings, immediately going into the search for feelings to distract myself instead of going to Self Investigation as Self Introspection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that relationships will fail if there is no ‘special feeling that I feel’ and so in this way have abdicated my directive principle to ‘special feelings’ where I have given this ‘special feeling’ power and authority within my life where I would re-arrange and direct my entire life where Id make Major Life Decisions that will affect who I am and what I will be, live and do during this life, where I would make such decisions based on “a special feeling” of energy that I experience inside me where I have come to trust that “special feeling inside” where then its not about the being/person at all but rather about the ‘special feeling’ I have on the inside thus showing me how I have given an ‘energetic experience’ power and authority over my life, and also this begs the question ‘Have I ever been in a relationship with an actual person where I really get to know THEM or has it always been about me and that feeling inside me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my directive principle of myself to a ‘special feeling’ where in this I become subject to this special feeling, like not knowing where or how to get this feeling or when or where or if I will ever have this feeling, yet I continue to hold out hope for this feeling, instead of releasing myself from the grasps of this ‘special feeling’ and realizing that to Live here in and as my own Authority where I am the Directive Principle of me is much more worth living for where I do not have to wait around for some special feeling but that I simply let it go and then I can just focus on me Living HERE, instead of accepting and allowing my attention to be constantly diverted towards the point of the “special feeling”. This implies that I as who I am from birth is ‘lacking’ where I am for some reason missing or lacking something which I now must try and go and find and add to me by searching out and seeking out feelings/experiences, instead of Living Here within Stability Standing within and as the starting point that I am Complete here in the simplicity of myself and so I can just Live Here and Explore, and no need to go searching for some special feeling to apparently complete me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to realize how I search out ‘special feelings’ daily where that becomes the purpose of my life and living without me even realizing it, where its like I am always trying to “get there” instead of being Here. ‘There’ being some moment or point somewhere eventually in the future where I am satisfied or get to experience some special feeling.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to give my attention to The Moment at hand, where in this I assist and support myself to explore and direct what is HERE in the moment, instead of constantly being distracted from here where I start thinking about something or somewhere better, where for instance I would have a ‘special feeling’ and so When and as I see myself starting to imagine or desire a ‘special feeling’ or a ‘better feeling’ I stop and breathe. I Stop accepting and allowing myself to dedicate myself as my attention to always trying to attain a ‘better feeling’ and thus dedicating myself as my attention to ‘energy experiences’ as feelings and emotions instead of assisting and supporting myself to simply Live here within the completeness of me as who I naturally am, and give my attention to that which is HERE in the moment. And if there is no special or better or positive feeling attached to the moment, I simply breath and remain here realizing how ‘feelings and emotions’ have become like the artificial reality that I have superimposed onto this actual real physical reality, where these artificial experiences have ‘taken over’ to a certain degree where I start to base my life on finding, and seeking out these experiences instead of Living Here and base my Living and Practical Expression and where I place my attention on the Principle of What is Best for ALL where I practically Live this principle in every breath to ensure an effective Life for ALL on earth, here in assisting and supporting myself to actually Align my Living Actions to produce as an accumulated affect something in fact Worthy of Life instead of accepting and allowing myself to just Live for “Special Feelings” where the accumulated affect of this is Living a Life that is really just disposable and that in fact abuse life as we can see we are doing this now as consumers searching for that next ‘fix’, that next ‘happy feeling’ where we will created products and industries and ways of life and an entire World System that is actually harmful to the planet and human beings. And so here I commit myself to assist and support myself to break my addiction to ‘happy feelings’ and thus stop accepting and allowing my Living Actions as the TIME I am here on earth being occupied with chasing and finding “happy feelings” but rather make the decision to rather spend my TIME producing something of actual value where I base my Living Actions and my Time Spent on Earth within the Principle of “What is Best for ALL”

 

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
equalmoney.org – Learn What Equal Money is all about and Vote on Goals and Principles
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Soluitons.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

 

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