Today I was out working on some landscape paintings. I see myself as still in the ‘practice’ stage of my ‘career’ in terms of landscape paintings even though I have done hundreds of them.
I discovered some cool things today and from my perspective a key ingredient to being able to become proficient in this point is simply TIME. I must put in the time. I have been busy with my Job and so only have an opportunity to do landscapes on the weekends normally.
Anyways, today I did 3 paintings. 1 more complete one and 2 sketches. I found that in the more complete painting that I really spent the first hour painting the painting and then the last hour more just bouncing around in it and tweaking things and doing a more ‘trial and error’ type application which is not so cool actually.
So its like for the first hour I am deliberate and specific and precise and directed with my movements where as I went into the last hour I allowed myself be vague and imprecise in my application.
So this is a point I must work on. I must NOT allow myself to make a brush stroke that I am not 100 percent satisfied and ready to place. I mean with the color mixing I just kind of let it go out the window and I go into the “good enough” point instead of remaining in Exactness with my application.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be specific when I am painting where I will allow myself to place a brushstroke that I am not absolutely 100 percent directed with.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a brushstroke when I am painting that I am uncertain about, where I am placing it more as a “what if” and a “lets see what happens” instead of ensuring that I am moving/directing myself in absolute certainty, because I find when I place something that I do not understand, it becomes lost and now is influencing the entire painting but I don’t know how to correct it because I do not understand how it is “going wrong” because when I placed it, I was in a way ignorant of it and blind to it where I did not understand the information I was working with before I place it (the brushstroke)
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after I have been painting for an hour or so, or sometimes this even happen in the beginning, to not breathe and make sure that I am 100 percent satisfied with the information I am placing before I place it, and in this I will allow myself to move into a kind of space within myself where I justify me not being deliberate and certain in my direction while I am painting and in doing this end up messing up my painting.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions/movements in my painting that are not exact, where I actually realize in the moment that the information is not exact but “I won’t/don’t care” and just place it anyways.
When and as I see myself in a moment accepting and allowing myself to access that “lets see what happens” character/space, I Stop and I breathe. I realize that when I allow myself to place brushstrokes in and as this Character/approach that I am not being deliberate and directed and exact in my painting anymore and thus can potentially compromise the entire painting with that one single inexact decision in that moment.
Thus I commit myself to assist and support myself to only place brushstrokes that I am absolutely certain about and to within this make sure that every inch, every millimeter, every portion and part of my painting is exact and I am satisfied with thus, leaving no small part to chance or speculation or hope, but pushing myself to make paintings that are absolutely 100 percent directed, leaving nothing up to chance. So when I am getting to that point/part of the painting where I am confused/find myself confused or uncertain in such moments, I commit myself to assist and support myself to slow myself down and really allow myself to remain Deliberate in my direction with my paintings, ensuring that I do not accept and allow myself to go into the “what if” or “lets see what happens application” but rather assist and support myself to remain EXACT and Directed with EVERY Movement I make/brushstroke I place, even if I really must slow down and find that exact right color I am mixing, and so thus here I allow myself to breathe and slow down and if I need to I can clean my palette or get more paint out, where here I just really assist and support myself the whole time to remain Stable and CLEAR in my direction and application of making a landscape painting. Cleaning my brush when I require, or my pallette when I require and just ensuring that I am always mixing my colors Exactly how I want them and never allowing ‘accidents’ which are deliberate to occur where I noticed that things are just a ‘little out’ but I will ‘let it slide’ because when I let it slide, that marks the potential beginning of the end because then I let the next thing slide and slowly these points accumulate until my palette and my painting is a mess or no more working because “I let things slide” starting with that tiny, seemingly insignificant first point “I let slide”.
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