Waiting For A Magical E-mail – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 401

Today I was a bit ‘lighter’ (in my experience) than yesterday which is interesting because the day in itself in terms of the routine was not any different yet my experience of myself was.

I have been a bit impatient with myself lately at work. On my breaks I go to my car and often I will turn on my phone and scroll through my facebook stream and check my e-mail.

I noticed a particular point within doing this, which is ‘looking for a savoir’

I can see this has to do with the point of accepting and allowing myself to see ‘my life’ as being ‘out of my control’ and me having really very little directive principle within the movement/direction and or success and failure of my life.

So I scroll through my facebook stream and check my e-mail to see if that one ‘magical e-mail’ has come to me yet. The magical e-mail where it will ‘fix everything’ and ‘solve all my problems’.

So I see that this then is implying that I am feeling powerless within my life, and really, I often do feel this way.

I experience myself in my life like I am walking such a thin line where its like I am just waiting for things to fall apart. And within this I experience myself as absolutely powerless and  helpless to be able to do anything about my situation. And so in such an automated way I am anxiously checking my e-mail to see if that ‘savior e-mail’ has come yet, that will change everything and change my life. My email will save me, I am powerless to do anything about my life so I will check my e-mail as if this is the only thing I can do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to everyday check my e-mail and to every-time I open my e-mail, look and hope for an e-mail that will be like an answer. An answer to my life, to my situation, where contained in this e-mail is an opportunity where now my life will change, normally this in some way being linked to money/ making money. And I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do this everyday instead of directing myself in such a way in my life where I no more EVER go into ‘hope’ or ‘hoping for solutions to just magically appear’ because I don’t require to, because I am here directing my life in every moment where I am the directive principle of me/my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for that magic e-mail instead of me writing that magic e-mail myself meaning where instead of waiting for a Solution to land on my doorstep or in my inbox, why not I actually direct myself to explore what I can do to establish and practical solution for myself within the context of Solidifying  stability within the various points/aspect of my life such as job/money/relationship etc. I mean often I am sitting there waiting for this opportunity to come to me related to Art. So I see that this has not worked for me and so thus I must Change my approach to where instead of waiting for that magical email to enter my inbox with the recipe of how I can practically become a success, I can instead look at what emails I can send or other practical points I can Physically Practically Do to change all these moments of ‘waiting for a solution’ into me directing myself practically in the physical in ways which I have deduced is an area I can explore/apply myself in as a practical direction/task to move as a way to explore how this can become part of my own Self Created Solution where basically the main point here is, to STOP waiting for a solution. To Stop waiting for solutions from others, to stop waiting for others to make my life work. Because that is what I see too, that I am constantly waiting passively for ‘others’ to give me opportunities, to show me the way, provide for me a Solution instead of stopping this and slowly but surely, step by step do this for myself in REAL PRACTICAL PHYSICAL ACTION.

I was actually discussing this point last night with a friend of mine, and I was discussing how I have allot of ideas running through my mind where its like I am trying to construct a solution in my mind, and the point that I realized is that all the ideas in my mind is not the problem, meaning the points I am looking at as potential solutions may or may not work, the point is that I MUST make it physical. And so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about so many cool ideas of how I can practically assist and support myself in my career but not ever apply these ideas in the physical where there has become a form of disconnection where none of my ideas and considerations in my mind are ‘making it to physical reality’. I see that this point must be sorted out and I must move myself in my physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to holdback and wait for things to happen to me instead of taking an ‘engaging stance’ within my life where I in fact ‘engage my life’ and direct myself to explore, test, apply various possible solutions IN THE PHYSICAL instead of just ‘looking at’ all the things everyone else is doing or looking at the potential points/solutions in my mind, but not ever doing/trying these things myself but more just remaining in the ‘looking at’ stage or ‘holding back’ stage, and thus have never really learned how to practically apply myself in physical reality particularly when it comes to money. But more have just remained in the ‘research only stage’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with the thought, that “because I have never been successful with money, that I never will be” and in relation to this thought go into an experience of self doubt, and then just ‘give up’ without even trying because the backchat in my head tells me ‘what’s the use’ where I believe that I will just fail anyways.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to place the ideas I have about how to direct myself within my life/career into practical application as I see that 90 percent of the time “I never get around it” and then end up in a point where I am anxiously scrolling through my facebook and checking my e-mail to see if some magical solution suddenly will show up in my inbox, because I myself have not taken any actions, any practical application of the points I have looked at or considered within my mind/mental reality as possible solutions/avenues to explore and test out in physical reality.

I commit myself to stop existing in and as the ‘WAITING for things to happen Character’ as the Character I live daily, particularly in relation to my career/job/money. Where yes, I will have lots of cool ideas, but that is as far as it gets, and so here I commit myself to assist and support myself bring through into physical reality the ideas/considerations in terms of what I could practically do to support myself within the context of my job/work/career/money.

I commit myself to stop giving Authority to others as being the ones that will make my life work where I have inferiorized myself in a way thinking that “I know nothing” or that I have no authority  or ability on/in ‘such matters’ when it comes to running a business for instance or making money, and so as a result I have given all my power away to others where I have basically stood back and waited for them to ‘make my life work’ and so here I commit myself to assist and support myself to ‘Take Action’ and stop waiting for others to ‘give me’ solutions or points I require, where essentially I stand back and wait for others to take action instead of me actually just doing this myself, because what I am finding is that if I am waiting for others to take action, I could be waiting for a while.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for permission to do/try/test something, where I have abdicated my power to others to “give me permission’ to try some idea I have, like they will know best, and in this not do anything unless someone else thinks it will work or gives me permission to do it, were in essence I have placed the authority of others before my own to the extent where I will never interject myself or speak my mind or contribute in an equal way because “what do I know”

I commit myself to make time in my life to actually practically apply the ideas/considerations that I have looked at in terms of possible points I could apply myself within to support me within my life/career. Time is limited on earth and so I must utilize that time effectively and thus stop putting off putting my considerations into practical application. And so I commit myself to rather do a little each day even if it is just a small bit, because rather do a little than nothing, and through time that will accumulate.

I commit myself to actually LIST down on paper the ideas that I have looked instead of leaving this stuff  up in my head and so to within listing these ideas, I am writing down a list to apply/test in the physical and so then from the list to proceed to actually moving the points in the physical reality, and thus stop waiting for my life to happen to me and just hope by some miracle that the perfect solution appear, rather I can give this point some Direction by actually practically applying the points that I see/consider as possible solutions within the context of what I am looking at doing with my life, and so thus here actually testing the stuff in the physical instead of not testing it all and just saying or thinking ‘that will never work’

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
equalmoney.org – Learn What Equal Money is all about and Vote on Goals and Principles
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Soluitons.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

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