I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go to the grocery store and buy food without really paying attention to what I am doing, not realizing that food is a fundamental part of the System that is my life, and that in neglecting to slow myself down and pay attention to what I am doing when I am buying food, I am manifesting a part, a fundamental part of the System that is my life in a way that inhibit the functioning of this System instead of realizing that by slowing myself down and being Specific and Deliberate with how I buy my food, doing this in awareness that this is a part of the System that is my life and that if done effectively I am able to make my Life System more effective and Stable and Supportive for me in the functionality of myself within this world, instead of having the ‘food part’ of the system of life ‘working against me’ as I was not walking this point in specificity and deliberateness, taking into consideration the context of my life and how to best purchase food to support me in this context, and so here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just treat buying food as something to get over with, where I just quickly go there and just buy without any slowing down, breathing and walking the point in Full Self Attention where I can really consider the foods I am buying in for instance how these would support me nutritionally and also with time management like for instance packing lunches for work etc.
This is the point I saw today. I actually noticed this point within the context of Art, strangely enough. Where I was looking at how I had created a pattern of placing ‘Art First’ where I would neglect and ignore other parts of my life/reality, and particularly responsibilities or points of my life that is actually quite fundamental to my Living Functionality such as food or even personal hygiene.
I was looking at this point of possession in art and how I would become possessed by this ‘pursuit of the perfect painting’ in a way, and how within this I would step into this mode where I would not actually be HERE and Really looking at ALL aspects of my Life that are essential in the functionality of it, I just would become possessed by this ‘Artist Character’ where my FOCUS would become completely single minded and thus, very impractical.
So with this art possession thing, I would not be HERE and really LOOKING, really LOOKING at how to practically LIVE through assessing and prioritizing ALL that is involved with my daily functionality, I would just ‘glaze over’ and ‘painting and art’ would become my obsession.
So what I noticed today within the context of food is that it became one of those points that “I had to do” and just ‘wanted to get over with’ so within buying my food from this starting point, I wasn’t really calculative with what I was buying. It was just more ‘random’ to get it over with.
I mean I say this came up within the context of Art, because last night I noticed this Art Obsession Possession coming up and in this I was planning on going out and doing a painting, but then I could see that I was in this kind of possession, and so I just made a decision to STOP, and I decided rather I would NOT just go out and paint and ‘follow this urge/possession/obsession’ within me but that I would rather stay home and walk the responsibilities I had a home. When I made this decision, I realized that I really did have some important responsibilities to walk that I was actually suppressing, and it was cool because I was able to really now slow down and walk those points with my Full Attention, where what I find when this “Art Possession” drive me is that I am more just trying to do everything to “get it done” so I can get on with the painting, and also then when I finally do get out painting, its like ‘I am just trying to get that done’ because now I am crunched for time with trying to do all this stuff and so nothing really gets my Stable and Grounded Attention and Consideration but that rather everything like becomes “on the fly”….instead of on the ground – lol.
So yes, in deciding to actually not be directed by this Art Possession last night, I was able to place my FULL Attention onto some other points, and so today when I decided to go get food, I noticed how in my life I was really not giving myself the ‘time’ so to speak, to actually slow down as I walk and direct my life, and so ‘Food’ became a point that I just did more ‘on the fly’ instead of ‘on the ground’ – ‘on the ground’ meaning SPECIFIC and Deliberate, allowing myself to consider more dimensions of my Life when purchasing the food and really making this a PART of the System that is my Life in an Effective way.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to realize that ALL parts of my life are Parts of the System that is my life and that essentially for instance FOOD is Linked to Painting, is linked to my Job, is linked to the time I have to do my blog. Its not just something ‘I must do and get out the way so that I can do the other things’. And so I commit myself to slow myself down and investigate the TOTAL System that is my LIFE and to within this assist and support myself to Align and Specify this TOTAL System through by when I am busy with one aspect/part of this system ie: Food, laundry, hygiene, transportation, getting gas, dishes, furniture, Sleeping, work, art, banking, entertainment, education, writing, internet etc, that I stop and I consider/ask myself ; how does this aspect relate to ALL other aspects and how can I walk and align this particular aspect effectively so that it support ALL other aspects, so within this becoming effective in my Functionality within my application and life. I realize that I cannot simply be organized within or pay attention to some parts and leave others Chaotic and abandoned really, but that I must instead, Direct myself to specify and organize each part/component of the System that is my Life into a Practically Effective equal and one Supportive Point / Life Flow