I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up and quit at the moment when I should have stood, and breathed.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to give authority to my mind to determine how my reality functions where within my mind ‘everything seems like so much’ and here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the perception and experience I form within and as me through the mind in relation to reality, instead of simply remaining HERE in the physical and simply walking here directing myself within and as the points when they come up. Because what I have found a few times recently is that when the moment arrives to actually do the task that I had thought about within my mind, it is actually not so bad and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into procrastination and postponement of tasks in my life because of the fear, anxiety, and different emotional experiences I have created about them through thinking about them in my mind where in I have actually then went into a procrastination towards such points only to find out that when I finally do get around to doing it that it was nothing like I had imaged/perceived in my mind and that I actually could have walked the point quite simply if I’d had actually just stepped out of my mind and my perceptions and stuck to the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sleep in in the mornings because I do not want to get up and face making decisions about my reality, only to find when I do get up and start making decisions that it is quite simple actually, where then I go into a kind of regret, like ‘shit, this is easy, this is nothing like I had imagined, I could have done this easily if I had just gotten up’
And so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give credence to the mind, to and as the images, ideas, perceptions and essentially ‘reality bubbles’ I create in my mind that always POP! When they meet with actual real physical reality because physical reality actually has some substance some real stable structure that always stand stable and unwavering when encountering some belief or idea that someone has created about it.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to breathe and walk here in the physical and to push myself to place myself within the position and opportunity for self direction and thus to stop accepting and allowing myself to trust the ‘mental realities’ I have constructed about ‘how things will go’ or ‘how difficult or easy’ a task will be, but rather to simply breathe and move myself in and as the physical in and as the task at hand.
I have also recently noticed that the mind is actually quite slow when it comes to reality. I have noticed this within the context of doing tasks or organizing my day where its like the mind it thinking about so many things just to go and do one simple task, where if I were to just walk the point in physical reality then I could cut out then entire orchestra of thinking that goes on in the mind in relation to when I am walking/directing myself in my reality. So I will here test this point for myself to for instance STOP the mind, STOP ‘going over everything in my head over and over and over and over’ but to simply face/walk the point when it is here in the physical.
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