I have a meeting later on today and I see that I have been experiencing anxiety and nervousness and also excitement in relation to this meeting. Throughout the day when noticing this experience(s) come up in relation to the meeting, I have directed myself to not participate and instead bring myself HERE and focus on my breathing and my current moment reality. Though as the meeting has drew closer my experience has intensified so I am going to here investigate the contents of this experience.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and influenced by ‘excitement’ where I experience this ‘excitement’ as a high intensity frequency within myself that vibrates really quickly, almost like somebody tickling me from the inside out. Where is like there is a part of me that wants to give into this experience and just allow it to overtake me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with nervousness, where I am nervous about the meeting I have, not really sure how it will go and so in a way have allowed fear to exist within me in relation to ‘whats going to happen’ and so in allowing this, this fear kind of come up as a form of nervousness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about my meeting later one where in Id accept and allow this worry to actually inhibit my expression HERE in the moment, where I actually become wrought with this worry, with this excitement, with this nervousness and with this total experience as all the various parts of it that exist, in relation to my meeting later on today, where in this have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by an ‘energetic experience’ which is showing me th degree with which I have indeed abdicated my Self Responsibility, and My Self Direction to an emotional experience as is seen within the degree which this experience has actually ‘possessed’ me from the perspective of creating a discomfort within myself HERE in the moment, to a degree where my physical self direction is influenced as I have in moments had to actually stop what I was doing, or would ‘not feel like doing anything’ due to this experience inside me building up like how the pressure and steam and molton lava build up inside a volcano slowly but surely to eventually break through and start spilling out over the top.
When and as I see myself ‘going into’ and ‘participating’ within this ‘experience’ within myself in relation to the meeting I have today, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is actually a cool reminder and indicator of the way and degree I have separated myself from and as my directive principle and abdicated this to ENERGY. Thus, I commit myself to assist and support myself to use this ‘point’ as an opportunity for me to realize the importance of assisting and supporting myself to DAILY Align who I am to and as the physical as breath and stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within ‘energies’ inside of me and thinking, ‘its harmless’ or ‘its ok because its just a little’ as this particular scenario is showing me that ‘its not ok’ from the perspective that I have not been effectively stabilizing myself in and as the physical so that when moments come up like this where there is a more ‘intense’ emotional experience emerging within me, that I am pretty much ‘defenceless’ so to speak, but that if I were to have actually been more consistent and deliberate in stopping even the more ‘smaller’ energetic experiences that I noticed coming up within me, that this would have provided me with a bit of ‘groundwork’ so to speak as a foundation to assist and support myself to effectively STAND and remain STABLE when the more intense emotional/feeling experiences/suppressions suddenly come up/start to emerge.
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