I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a desire for a relationship to move, direct, and drive me within my life, and within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to Stop, and look at myself and question why I have placed so much value on this particular point to the degree where a relationship with someone else has become more important to me than my own relationship with myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to occupy myself with a relationship with someone else, where I would then use this as a point to ‘hide within’ to ‘occupy my time’ and to ‘distract me’ from my own process of Self Correction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend each day just trying to “get through it” instead of really assisting and supporting myself to investigate myself and walk my process of self change. A point that astoundingly I have found I am able to put off and put off for a long time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to end up in points of despair as if it was unexpected that this would occur when in actuality despair and regret is the likely result of self ignorance and procrastination which I have become a master of.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not really move myself into myself in real self intimacy through self investigation within writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application, and really change myself, but have in a way just continued to maintain myself as who I am currently with no change.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing resistance to direct me, particularly resistance to really working on myself within the tools of writing, self investigation, self forgiveness, and self corrective application.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to incessantly search for a relationship not realizing how this is indicating I am really not OK with myself here alone.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my own lack of contentedness drive me to search for a relationship and thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that this is clearly indicating a problem with the relationship I have with myself, yet, I have not turned to myself, so to speak and walked a self honest process of self investigation, self forgiveness, and self correction, and in this released myself from this ‘drive’ (to find a relationship) but have rather turned outward and looked for a relationship to be my savior.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame stress as the reason why I do not investigate myself and develop an effective Self Honest Relationship within and as myself, “because I am too stressed about my life and money”, and so here have a convenient excuse to justify avoiding the real tough changes that I require to make within and as myself in terms of how I am existing within myself/my nature, towards myself, others, and the world around me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the trap that is created through the media that “to have a Relationship with another is the end all be all” and so have through this justified my discontentedness with myself when I am alone, believing that this can be fixed by/through getting into a relationship with someone else and that satisfaction can only be had through a relationship with another, meanwhile I continue to ignore the dysfunctions that are clearly existing within myself, within the relationship I have with me, thus trying to move into a relationship as a Solution for me and my ‘discontentness’ instead of moving into myself and working with what is HERE as me as the dysfunctions I see within myself and sorting this out First, because obviously I cannot simply mask them through by diverting my attention outwards – but that I must in fact face these inner dysfunctions and Correct them, and to do that, all I require is ME and nothing else from the perspective that simplistically there is so much more i can do for and as myself to assist and support my own Self Relationship.
When and as I see myself experiencing myself as discontent when I am alone with myself, I stop and I breathe. In this moment I assist and support myself to breath and stabilize myself within and as breath bringing myself back here and out of the experience of discontent, and in this reminding myself that I have not yet in fact developed an effective stability within myself, where I can stand Consistently in and as Self Stability, and so thus this must be investigated and corrected basically realizing that there is much I can still do and apply for me to become more stable and clear within myself, within my day to day living within and as the relationship I have with myself. So that for instance, I am Silent within myself and Stable within myself where I am not overridden with an experience of ‘discontent’ that come up from within me, and so that my ‘dysfunctions’ are no more driving me to find a relationship or seek some external solace as a way to attempt to distract myself or make myself feel good, to balance out how I am naturally feeling as the relationship I have established within and as myself.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop ‘managing’ my Self Relationship where it has become a point of where I will simply manage my dysfunctions instead of correcting them.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to Stabilize my Self Relationship into a point of Balance/Stability/Contentedness so that I am no more being driven to find some external point to try and “make myself feel better” due to the imbalance/dysfunction I have created in and as myself as the “who I am” that I am existing in daily as the accepted and allowed result of the relationship I have established within myself as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distort my definition of ‘being content’ where I have within my definition of ‘being content’ defined this within the context of ‘being ok’ with my fucked up nature to the degree where I will not stop and correct myself so that my Living Expression is actually aligned with Real Living Support – And so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “be ok” with ‘who I am’ as my current fucked up nature where in this I will allow myself to remain within this ‘fucked up state’ instead of correcting myself, and correcting the relationship I have with myself, but instead have just let things be as are because ‘hey, I can take it’.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to use the point of ‘Self Distraction’ as a Starting Point for how to proceed with my process of Self Support; where I see that as long as there exist moments where I go into that point of ‘attempting to, or trying to distract myself’ from me just being here with and as myself, that this indicates that I still have ‘work to do’ so to speak in terms of my process of self investigation and my process of self change using the tools of writing, self forgiveness, and self correction and the other various tools of support presented thus far through the desteni process. Do here I can see when ever this point of me wanting to Distract myself comes up, I know “Ok there is point here that I can investigate within myself so that I can bring myself back to self stability so that I am not more going into the point of Self Distraction but rather am simply here with and as myself and satisfied and content with who I am.