I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within ‘Indifference’ from the perspective of where I will not move myself in my process because within me I think “whats the use” or thinking “ I can never do this” where thoughts and feelings in this nature bring me to the point of where I will kind of step into the Character of indifference and just go through the motions of my day, and applying myself here and there but never really, really applying myself effectively due to the believe that I have accepted and allowed that “it will not work anyways”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the belief that “I can never untangle this mess that I have created as myself” and so when ever I am approaching the point of assisting and supporting myself within my process of self change, I never really get into it to much, but more just like kind of ‘trying it’ but doing this within the belief that “I will never be effective at this” and believing that “I will not make a difference” that “I will never be able sort out this mess that is me, as all the systems and networks that I have created as me as my mind within which I now exist as”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that “I am to vast and extensive” to get to understand in entirety, and so have developed this point of indifference like maybe or maybe not I will “get it” and in this, never really applying myself daily consistently.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a point of indifference where I will not really ever apply myself every day within a point of constancy and consistency because so far I have had so few results that I have slowly but surely given up hope on myself to the point where I have become masked in this indifference where its like I see what I must do, but I do not “go there” because apparently I did that in the past and it did not work, and to do that was such hard work, so why would I do that again if it did not work the first time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and exist as this Character of Indifference as another character that I live out to avoid changing myself, to avoid actually directing MYSELF in my Life but have elected to rather stick with Characters within which I have created that I can exist as a kind of automation of my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I do not understand the task at hand – The task of stopping ourselves from being directed by and as energy and rather moving ourselves from this point of being directed by energy to actually directing ourselves as a SELF Direction done based on common sense and practical assessment where in this we Directing ourselves according to the principle of what is best for all to ensure that our living in every moment form part of the whole living and working together in a relationship that is best for ALL.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed Indifference to become a dominant Character within my Life, where it is kind of like “me just not caring” yet I do care, but I have still accepted and allowed myself to stand back in my process of self change believing that “I cannot do it” where at times I will move myself within the daily actions of self change but not really doing this as a Self Honest, Self Investigation of myself but rather more just going through the motions, because in the back of my mind I am still believing that “I will never get anywhere with this” anyways.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “I will not get anywhere with this anyways” in relation to my process of self change due to how things have gone so far and in this have accepted that “I will just go through this life and not really ever change much, maybe a little, but nothing substantial” and so live this ‘acceptance’ out in my every day life, just waking in a kind of ‘indifference’ towards things, and towards my ability to really actually Change myself, and so I just walk and live my life in a kind of Automation not really expecting to make a difference in my life or within myself and actually change/direct me into anything that Stand as an Actual Real Dignified Being of LIFE, Standing completely in alignment of What is Best for ALL, and so in believing this, believing that I cannot in fact do this, and align and change me to walk live this, so never really “give it a good go” but just more dabble and maintain the impression that “sure, I am changing” but knowing within myself that I really don’t think I can actually do it, and so never really going for it, or getting myself to that point where I would go for it to the degree where I would change my day to day living in a way that would support such a change, and so just continue in the same actions and patterns that have till here produced who I am at the moment which is not a being of Standing Up For Life, but more a being standing on the brink of this point. Like standing on the sidelines kind of wishing that one is actually in the game playing.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop living indifference and to when I am at that moment where I will be ‘looking at’ moving myself into an application of self change, to instead of deciding ‘nawww’ and then just suppressing it or brushing it off, believing that “it will not make a difference anyway” to in such moment rather push and will myself to apply myself within the tools I have available to support me in my process of self change, such as writing, self forgiveness, self correction , self introspection, speaking self forgiveness allowed, etc.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the moments that come up within my life where I would have a window to assist and support myself in my process to Change, are too small and insignificant to have any affect or impact on my process at all, and so instead of applying myself I will just fill that space with some form of stimulation that has no beneficial consequence at all, but just affirm the existence of myself as a slave to my programming and mind which I have abdicated my directive principle toward.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to practice moving myself where I do not require some kind of stimuli to motivate me to move myself within my process of self change, and so moving myself out of my Character of “indifference” which exist always in this kind of ‘neutral state’ towards the point of self change, and so thus I never do anything as there is never any ‘push’ or ‘movement’ to actually change me, but rather instead ‘indifference’ and so here I see that I must in face move myself in the face of ‘indifference’ or moving myself out of the point of indifference and finding the point of self movement within myself to Direct me within my process of self change, because obviously with indifference there is no motivation to do anything and so here I must in fact move and will myself to move myself out of my indifferent state and into a point of self movement of and as self application of and as self change.