CONcrete CONclusions – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 348

I have recently (today will be night 3) moved into a new apartment with 2 new roommates (3 including the dog). I have done this before where I have answered an add and moved into a a place where up until I answered the add I had never met the people before.
I do my best to assess as much as possible in terms of determining ‘will I be able to get along with this people’ – that being one of the more obvious ones, but overall there is so many considerations one make within oneself during this process.
I mean if one really look at it – It is a complete profiling that takes place down to kind of furniture they have, do they have kids, do they know kids, are they clean, are they too clean, what are their ages, will I be dominant or submissive within the relationship, what is their job, are they forgiving, do they do drugs, how much drugs, can we get along, am I too poor looking, can I manage here long term, or will be short term, where is parking, do they think they are better than me, Do I think I am better than them? – I mean the list is endless, and I will say that in this there is MANY practical considerations to look, and then there is where the mind goes into like paranoia mode and starts going into insecurities and things like that.
Anyways, so here I am now sharing a flat with 2 new roommates. If you have read any of my previous blogs you may have noticed that I can tend to sometimes be anti-social and more prefer to ‘keep to myself’ About 6 months ago, I was living in a place that in the beginning seemed cool, but ended up not working out and I really ended up making the entire experience not to cool from the perspective of allowing myself to go into what I will call here ‘paranoia mode’ where I would not want to ever leave my room, because in my room I was safe and protected and did not have to interact with the people I was living with at the time.
Ok so here I am now standing in a similar point and so will investigate some of the points I have already noticed inside me that from my perspective is very ‘sabotagey’ from the perspective of seeing that such behaviors/acceptances and allowances will only generate and create resistance towards the people I live with instead of facilitating a more harmonious living space for all of us during this phase of our lives.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my new roommates don’t want me here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my mind and worry and think about ‘how my new roommates don’t really want me here’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when thinking about how my new roommates don’t really want me here, to say “Its True” and thus, just trust such a statement without any real backing other speculation within my own mind towards what they might ‘thinking’ and last I checked I could not read minds.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist going out and speaking to my new roommates.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear getting to know my new roommates because I fear ‘what if we don’t get along” or “what if this doesn’t work” or “I made a big mistake” and to thus accept and allow such back-chat inner talk direct and determine my experience and my actions, instead of simply moving myself to communicate with them and interact with them and get to know them as a Self Directive Action I take for and as myself within my process of becoming more effective within communicating and interacting with ALL TYPES of beings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to draw conclusions about my new roommates, without anything backing such conclusion, and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing such conclusions to direct me even within seeing that there is next to nothing backing such conclusions. And I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stop all Unbacked and Unfounded Conclusions that have absolutely no evidence where by I simply STOP participating in such ‘Conclusions’ that is actually an Illusion because it is really just founded on speculation within my mind and not based on really communicating and interacting with my new roommates for real in the physical in real time, and so
I commit myself to stop participating within my mind within speculative conclusions and to when and as I see myself starting to go into my mind ‘thinking’ about my roommates and having opinions, ideas, conclusions about them or about what they think of me etc, I STOP, and I breathe and I bring myself and ground myself HERE. I do not accept and allow myself to participate with and thus fuel unfounded speculation within and as my mind towards my roommates but rather commit myself to “Keep it Physical” and not only this to Direct myself to Communicate and Interact with them where in this I Really get to know them, and not just ‘kind of get to know them’ and then ‘fill in the rest of the blanks’ using my mind as this is exactly how speculation happen, and so Here, I commit myself to assist and support myself to this time, unlike the last roommate situation I was in, to this time, actually move myself to communicate and interact with my roommates so to keep the Physical Contact Point Stable and not going into MIND SPECULATION towards my roommates (the people around me) which I see I have done in the past and have a tendency to do, and so I am HERE assisting and supporting myself to Correct my Living Behavior towards/within the point of ‘Living with roommates’ where I assist and support myself to Stop existing within an ‘internal mind relationship’ towards my roommates where this ‘internal mind relationship’ is not really based on actual physical contact/communication/interaction with them, and so here am assisting and supporting Myself to actually Develop a HARMONIOUS relationship with my roommates through by Aligning and Directing me to ensure I am Forming/basing the ‘conclusions’ about my roommates on “who they really are” which I get to see through by actually physically interacting with them in real time, and thus basing and forming my relationships with them around the ACTUAL REAL PHYSICAL INTERACTION AND COMMUNICATION, and not internal mind speculation where I create Conclusions of Illusions. And so Here making my CONclusions CONcrete through by focusing and aligning me as my interaction and communication with my new roommates to actual real physical concrete reality.

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