An Island of Happiness in an Ocean of Negativity – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 342

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘worry’ that I will not perform as well as the others that are training for the same position as me, because I fear the outcome if I do not get hired, and so basically want to avoid this outcome, which place the entire concept of Happiness into question if it is dependent to such a degree on having the absolute perfect equation where for instance underlying this the entire time is that outside this “perfect happiness equation” is absolute doom which I am seeing in relation to applying for this new job where if I get the job I will feel I will be satisfied, where if not then its like the ‘ultimate hell’ and so also here this showing that my “pursuit of happiness” is like also a point of attempting and trying to escape the bad which is primarily how things exist.
And so I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that Real Happiness cannot if one has to constantly look over ones shoulder out of fear of this happiness being taken away which is like how so many apparent “happy” lives are constructed and existing this day and age where they are sooooo fragile where its like if one little thing goes wrong they will be thrown to the wolves so to speak, and so ‘happiness’ has become like living in constant worry of something going wrong that will be the ground falling out from ones feet where they will fall from their platform of happiness into the depths of despair and suffering where at this stage money is used to protect people from having to live in those parts of the system functioning with very little money and is a struggle to get by.
I see how my “wanting this job” and thus my definition of “happiness” has contained within it “the avoidance of pain/suffering” which is what would take place if I were to not “get the job” so it is interesting to see the role suffering and pain… essentially the polar opposite is playing in my “wanting a particular job” where it is in part about escaping the ‘negative’.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, how fragile ones ‘happiness’ within this world actually is, which really simply illustrate the extent with which the ‘negative’ proliferate this planet where happiness becomes like a tiny island constructed out of money in the middle of an ocean of negativity and suffering that is the norm for most human beings on earth.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to also investigate this relationship within me form the perspective that the outer is a reflection of the inner and vis versa.
I commit myself to stop running from the ‘negative’ where to escape It I try and get to a ‘positive’ but to rather assist and support myself to stop participating within the polarity relationship of positive and negative and just rather LIVE HERE, in and as Breath, in and as the Physical, Directing and moving myself within Stability and Constancy within the principle of what is best for all, and thus to assist and support myself to stop myself from going into the HIGHS and LOWS of Polarity and in this basing my Life Decisions and Actions on this polarity experience.


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