I Am Not Good With People – An Artists Journey To Life – Day 335

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will not be able to change myself in a way that is required to walk a different job than I am used to. Particularly when it comes to interacting and socializing with people on a daily basis, where when I look at this point within me within my imagination and see myself in a situation where I must daily interact with people within a more formal context I start to tense and clench up within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am not able to interact with people regularly, effectively, and that I will not be able to direct myself within my life in a way that support and accommodate this point effectively, and thus within believing this, go into “fear of loss” fearing losing the opportunity that I have before me where being able to communicate with people regularly may be involved.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only ever “look at” the point of changing myself from being ‘closed’ and ‘reserved’ in relation to others, to being open and and more social, where I see this as a point of change I’d like to walk but almost automatically and simultaneously go into the belief/idea that “I will never do this” and so then kind of close up within myself and draw back into myself within a point of “I won’t do it”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself the opportunity to change myself within areas and aspects of me and my life that I would like to change, through by stating “I don’t have it in me” and like seeing this task as just too impossible for me to do, and so in seeing this as “just to impossible” go into the emotional reaction of and as disappointment and giving up.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that “I will be just to stressed” to deal with people regularly and that I must, and I need to be alone.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as ‘poor’ at establishing relationships, particularly those that are fun and enriching, where I have rather defined my relationship building ability as “poor”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as having ‘bad’ relationship building skills, where I believe that I am not able to establish relationships with people where comfortability and enjoyment is a quality of such relationships.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist meeting new people from the perspective of always believing within myself that “I am not like this person” or “we are too different” and where in this I in a way determine most people if not all people I meet in my world as “not suitable for relationships” and thus never really establish very many relationships within my life, because “there just don’t seem to be anyone that is aligned with who I am” and so within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist people instead of embracing them more from the perspective of not judging  people so quickly and right away defining them as “not relationship material” instead of approaching such points from the perspective of equality and oneness and actually giving myself an opportunity to get to know people before I decided “if they are relationships material” that as of now, almost always define them as “not relationship material” doing this with every human being I meet, which is actually indicating a dysfunction within myself, not within everyone that I meet.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that no one I meet will accept me, particularly if they have money, and so in a way approach some new people with this pre-conceived idea, and already feeling like I am an ‘outcast’ or ‘outsider’ in relation to new people I meet.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make the statement within myself “I can’t be bothered to make friends” and so here also, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define making friends as “so much effort” and in a way ” a waste of time”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that “no one will accept me or like me” and to use this as an excuse to just stay in my room alone with myself and “do my own thing” and never really socialize or make friends.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to change this accepted and allowed Character of myself of and as the “Introverted Character” – The Character that isn’t very social and is apparently not good with people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself through by defining myself as a Character that is “not good with people” and thus deny myself the opportunity to really get to know people and develop the skills necessary for establishing effective relationships within my life.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop limiting myself through by existing as the “I am not good with people” Character where I have defined myself as a particular way in relation to people that really does not support me to actually open up and become effective with people.
When and as I see myself speaking the statement within myself “I am not good with people” I stop and breathe. I see that this is NOT who I am from the perspective of something that I must be and cannot change about me but is rather a point I have in fact Lived within my life and thus am able to Correct through assisting and supporting myself to practice my interactions and communications with people, instead of simply making the statement and thus accepting “I am not good with people” and so I commit myself to open up and investigate this Character that I have created as the “not good with people Character” and to thus assist and support myself to see, realize, and understand and Change this Character/Behavior as I see that within this I have accepted and allowed myself to accept something about myself that is only so because I am making it so, not because it is in fact so, and so I commit myself Take Responsibility for myself within this point. Taking Responsibility from the perspective of Me realizing that I am the one who has created me this way as “not good with people” and so thus am the one Responsible for changing this accepted behavior/personality/character of and as me into a being that embrace beings more and is effective within interaction and communication with ALL beings instead of in a way existing in the reverse of this where I really shy away and close myself off from literally ALL beings that I meet.

 

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