Here I am continuing opening up the various dimensions of the “Avoiding Responsibility” Character, with applying Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements on the ‘Reaction Dimension’
This blog is a continuation of previous blogs where I have been opening up and exploring the point of how I will spend time in my room as a point of Avoiding Responsibility.
Hiding From Anxiousness makes me Anxious – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 329
The Exact Same Hopelessness – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 328
Feeling so far from Success in this world – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 327
Emotion/Feeling Reaction: tired/exhausted
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “go into” tiredness in relation to when I am walking/facing my Daily Responsibilities and Obligations within my life, where I will “give into” tiredness from the perspective of defining it as ‘natural’ and here I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to breathe through these moments/points and assist and support myself to remain here in and as breath, walking and directing myself effectively within my life where I see that I am able to be more effective and directive within my life but that I have ‘sabotaged’ this effectiveness through pre-maturely giving into tiredness where tiredness then just become an excuse and reason for me to Avoid Responsibility where I will justify to myself to just go into my room where I can ‘rest’ from having to Walk and Direct my Daily Responsibilities.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate ‘busy-ness’ where I see this stem from having in my life lived according to self interest where I just wanted to do what I felt like and so could from this perspective avoid ‘busy-ness,’ and within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that this ‘hatred’ towards business, is actually an anger that comes up within me when “I am not able to do what I want” and is indicating that I am not yet LIVING in and as the Principle of What is Best for ALL where This Principle becomes my Priority and thus I Align Living the Practical Responsibilities of my life to be my TOP Priority as this is what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just want to go to my room and get away from it all, when I start to experience myself as busy where it seems like ‘so much’ is going on.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as tired or exhausted when/from walking my daily practical living obligations and responsibilities, and in this not accepting and allowing myself to realize that this actually become an excuse to avoid Directing my practical living obligations and responsibilities, where I define me as tired or exhausted, but that the real point is that I am just more used to “doing what I want” and so I face/experience resistance to in fact changing me to take on more and Walk/Live as a Self Responsible being in this/my world, something that I have not in fact Lived within my life and so will face resistance , as I assist and support myself to Align myself to walk/face/direct my Practical Living Responsibilities and Obligations every day instead of avoiding them like I have previously accepted and allowed myself to do.
When and as I see tiredness and exhaustion coming up within me within the context of me wanting to just go to my room and rest, I stop and I breathe and bring myself HERE so that I am here with and as my Human Physical body. I commit myself to in such moments stabilize myself HERE through bringing my attention back to my breath and back to myself. I realize that in many cases my tiredness and exhaustion is not really tiredness and exhaustion but instead simply an escape route that I utilize as an excuse to basically retreat from my world and into my bedroom where I can rest and I do not have to face/walk my responsibilities and so, I commit myself to assist and support myself to when such moments of tiredness and exhaustion come up to simply remain here and focus on my breathing. I am Here to assist and support myself to STABILIZE myself within walking my Responsibilities Daily and that I will be required to walk through some resistance to this because I am not ‘programmed’ to do this and am thus in the process of Re-Programming myself breath by breath to Face/Walk my Responsibilities and Obligations within my Life instead of going into the point of Avoiding them, and just retreating from my reality into my bedroom.
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