Hiding From Anxiousness makes me Anxious – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 329

Here I am continuing opening up the various dimensions of the “Avoiding Responsibility” Character, with applying Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements on the ‘Reaction Dimension’
This blog is a continuation of previous blogs where I have been opening up and exploring the point of how I will spend time in my room as a point of Avoiding Responsibility.

Previous Blogs:
Feeling so far from Success in this world – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 327
The Exact Same Hopelessness – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 328

Emotion/Feeling Reaction – Anxious
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in anxiousness in relation to the point of “staying in my room to avoid responsibility” and that I have accepted and allowed myself to acknowledge and then deliberately suppress this anxiousness through by for instance watching a movie to take my attention and mind of of the experience of myself as anxiousness, even though the reason I feel anxious in the first place is because I have been avoiding my responsibilities and because of this, my responsibilities just keep piling up and I become more anxious and more anxious.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become anxious and nervous inside myself when ever I look at a point of responsibility that I must walk, where I then accept myself to be directed and influenced by this anxiousness that comes within me when looking at what responsibilities I must walk and then instead of facing this anxiousness, I simply turn away and try and do something else so that I do not have to face this anxiousness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by anxiousness that comes up within me when looking at points of responsibility I must walk, where instead of walking and facing the point of responsibility, I just rather want to go to my room and close the door so that I can hide from having to face this Responsibility and thus anxiousness I experience when looking at it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in my room where there is no anxiousness, though end up in a point where the anxiousness grows and grows, because the more I stay in my room to avoid facing my reality and my responsibilities, the more this experience of anxiousness which I have attached to my responsibilities grows as well, and within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to turn away from even one point of anxiousness, instead of realizing that anxiousness never just “goes away” but that it remain HERE until I walk/face the point and walk through the anxiousness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within turning away from my anxiousness, give it power, where even in the beginning if the anxiousness is actually not to bad and I decided to allow it influence me and thus go into avoiding it, I then give it more power, instead of assisting and supporting myself with Breath to simply walk my Responsibilities in a practical way.
What I am seeing here is that I will allow my projection of a point influence me, where I will for instance see a Responsibility that I must do, and so instead of embracing it, and walking it practically, I will look at it ‘through the mind’ so to speak and then start generating all sorts of experiences around it and thus end up activating a point of anxiousness towards the point and then thus do Not want to walk it/face it. And then I will accept and allow this experience of anxiousness to actually direct and influence me and I will to avoid it, make a decision to “stay in my room” rather than going out to face it. And so
I commit myself to assist and support myself to Stabilize myself within the point of facing anxiousness in relation to facing responsibilities. I realize that having anxiety in relation to facing my world and my responsibilities will NOT go away by just staying in my room and avoiding it. I realize that I must in fact assist and support myself to Walk it and Face it. And so I commit myself to assist and support myself to Align myself to Walking/Facing my Responsibilities within my Life where I commit myself to LIVE Responsibility within the context of what is best for all and so thus Re-Prioritize my life so that My Life and Each Day is Dedicated no more to my own self interest but to that which is best for all, and thus assist and support myself to become the Epitome of Responsibility so to speak, and so I commit myself to Stop Participating within and as the Character of and as “Avoiding Responsibility” that I have accepted and allowed myself to Walk throughout my life and thus had/have become the epitome of ‘avoiding responsibility’ or like ‘not wanting to grow up’ so then ‘immaturity’ as I had not assisting and supported myself to become a Responsible Being on this planet. And so I commit myself to assist and support myself to assist and support myself daily to re-program myself to Live/Become a Responsible Being within the Principle of what is best for all and equality and oneness, through by assisting and supporting myself to ALIGN my Daily Living to Taking Care of My Responsibilities.

 

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One thought on “Hiding From Anxiousness makes me Anxious – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 329

  1. Pingback: Tiredness as an Excuse – An Artists Journey To Life: DAY 330 | An Artists Journey To Life

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