Here I am continuing opening up the various dimensions of the “Avoiding Responsibility” Character, with applying Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements on the ‘Reaction Dimension’
This blog is a continuation of previous blogs where I have been opening up and exploring the point of how I will spend time in my room as a point of Avoiding Responsibility.
Feeling so far from Success in this world – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 327
Emotion/Feeling Reaction: Hopelessness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sit in my room and go into hopelessness in relation to my life and facing/walking the responsibilities of my life, one reason being is that because it seems like that no matter if I walk my responsibilities or not, ‘my life will not change’ and so in relation to this idea/thought I experience hopelessness and disappointment come over me where I in a way become subdued and anesthetized by this experience of hopeless and disappointment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the pattern of retreating from my world into my room and allowing the experience of hopelessness to come over me which only make me want to stay in my room and not come up ‘as everything is hopeless’ and ‘whats the point’ and so within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with this experience of hopelessness and disappointment because it is a pattern, and thus normal and I am used to it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define feeling and experiencing hopelessness as ‘part of my life’ and so simply allow this experience of hopelessness and disappointment to be a part of my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that going into my experience of hopelessness will make things better and make my life better, and not realize that it only place me into a non-active state where I don’t feel like doing anything at all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust my experience of hopelessness to be a guide for how I live my life and what I do with my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow hopelessness to become a part of my routine.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow being in my bedroom experiencing hopelessness and disappointment become part of my life pattern which is the patterns I am living and participating in in every moment as a reflection of who I am.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not know how to function or live if not participating in hopelessness in regular intervals I mean, what does this mean? Is my hopelessness necessary?
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have gotten used to looking at my life through the eyes of hopelessness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that everything I do and say and am and think about must have a feeling or emotion attached. Where this has become how I see my world and understand my world.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question why I always experience this exact same hopelessness? I mean you’d think that my emotions and feelings would change, but they do not, they are always the same, including this experience of hopelessness that just repeats and is like the same feeling every time made up of the same ingredients.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to understand exactly what the ingredients are that make up my hopelessness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly think that “its too much” where things seem overwhelming or too big or too much for me to do or overcome or complete and within this I go into an experience of hopelessness within myself.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into my normal, routine experience of hopeless to stop and breathe and not allow myself to go into this programmed experience that is always the same but to instead of assist and support myself to remain here breathing, focusing on my breath where there is no emotion or feeling required, but just me here breathing, and in this assist and support myself to stop going automatically into my experience of hopelessness because this is what it has become like where going into this experience of hopelessness has become automated and like clockwork, where it will come up at various times during my day, week, month at particular intervals and particular intensities, and so to when such moments occur arrive I do not accept and allow myself to go into that energetic frequency of Hopeless and thus see what happens if I actually deliberately stop myself from just AUTOMATICALLY going into my custom made experience of hopelessness which in itself is really a kind of carbon copy of hopelessness that I have tweaked here and there and ‘made my own’ and so to Utilize BREATHING to STABILIZE myself HERE within my human physical body and no more accept and allow myself to go into the experience of hopelessness.
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