Here I am continuing with applying Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements on the Back-Chat Dimension on the point I have noticed within my life where I utilize my bedroom as a kind of hiding place and ultimately a place where I go /stay to avoid facing my world/Responsibilities
This blog is a continuation of the following blogs
Uncovering The Ways I ‘Avoid Responsibility’ – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 323
My Responsibilities Will Not Just “Leave Me Alone” – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 322
–My Bedroom is My ‘Giving-Up’ Sanctuary – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 321
–Thinking About My Life from My Bedroom – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 320
–Allowing My World To Fall Apart – While I Watch Movies – An Artists Journey To Life:
–My Inner Experience is Too Much to Handle – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 318
–My Room My Hideaway (Fear Dimension) – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 315
–“Hiding In My Room” Character Dimensions – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 314
Back-Chat: “I need to be alone”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “I need to be alone to relax” and in this also believing that I will never be able to be comfortable around people and establish my relationships with people in such a way where I am in fact comfortable around them and am able to relax.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get to such reactive states within myself that I can no longer stand to be around people due to my constant and continuous reactions towards them and in relation to them where then this back-chat comes up within me “I need to be alone”
I see that this is not actually a Solution to my ‘situation’ but more a reaction I go into where I am reacting towards people and my environment where I feel like I am left with “no other choice” but to just get away from the situation as soon as possible and that the only way I will find any peace or be able to relax is to be alone and here also specifically being alone in my room, where my room has become the place of refuge, like the optimum point within my reality where I can go to just “get away from it all” and so here within the context of my reacting to people, my room is that point where I can go and Stabilize myself because what I find is that sometimes my reactions just get to much and I am not able to stabilize myself “in real time” so to speak and stop my reactions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to people in my immediate environment in where I find by the time I get to the end of the day I am in a way filled with all the reactions that accumulated during the day, and that in some days it just gets to much and I reach that point where I feel like I can’t handle it and that I just need to “get out of there” and be away from it all, and so here I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to assist and support myself to Stabilize myself within myself during my daytime walking and address this point that I see occurring in my life where I am still reacting quite allot during my day and am in not way actually Stable within myself and walking and breathing HERE in my environment stable.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to take responsibility for myself within the context of how I have been noticing that I have been accepting and allowing myself to react more and more during my day to people in my immediate environment where this has been accumulating more and more instead of me finding a way to support myself to walk in Self Stability each day instead of reacting extensively to beings I encounter in my environment each day.
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