Here I am starting with applying Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements on the Back-Chat Dimension on the point I have noticed within my life where I utilize my bedroom as a kind of hiding place and ultimately a place where I go /stay to avoid facing my world
This blog is a continuation of the following blogs
–My Bedroom is My ‘Giving-Up’ Sanctuary – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 321
–Thinking About My Life from My Bedroom – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 320
–Allowing My World To Fall Apart – While I Watch Movies – An Artists Journey To Life:
–My Inner Experience is Too Much to Handle – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 318
–My Room My Hideaway (Fear Dimension) – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 315
–“Hiding In My Room” Character Dimensions – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 314
Backchat:Just leave me alone
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak the words “just leave me alone” inside myself in my back-chat when and as I am thinking about being in or wanting to be in or am in my room, and in speaking such words accept and allow myself to imply that this is some kind of solution to my experience.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take responsibility for my back-chat as the words I speak allowed or silently within my mind where in for instance speaking the back-chat “Just leave me alone” I see that I am within such words already in a state/character of avoiding my responsibilities where I have forgone any kind of practical explanation for why I would want someone to “leave me alone” but have just more Reacted within my reality in simply making the statement of and as “Just Leave Me Alone” and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to explore and investigate the actual Relationships that is making up such a statement of and as “Just leave me alone” so that I can really understand how I am creating my reality through the words I speak.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reach the state of where I will speak the back-chat of and as “Just leave me alone” which normally end up coming up within me when I go into avoidance of my responsibilities and walking HERE in and as Self Honesty, where if I was doing that, I would for instance be much less reactive because I see that when I start avoiding doing what I KNOW must be done and what is actually best for me, I become more irritated and anxious and then I end up more easily reacting to people and would speak such a back-chat “just leave me alone”
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that My Responsibilities will never just Leave Me Alone, and that no matter how much I want my responsibilities to “leave me alone” it does not work that way, and I understand that it does not work this way, but that I must in fact FACE ME and FACE MY REALITY and Correct all the fuck-ups which I realize is in fact an Opportunity for me to Realize Myself and Understand how I am functioning and within this Directing myself and my reality in a way that is best for all.
I realize that I actually DO want things to be this way. Because this gives me the opportunity to Take Responsibility for Myself and What is HERE in a way that is Honorable and Respectful of Life. I also realize that This allows me to Understand and become Aware of Myself and who I am as LIFE, and in this becoming Specific in my Expression and Direction and Getting to know myself as CREATOR, as that is what I am doing here and that is what I would like to be, and so When I Speak the Statement “Just Leave me Alone” I am actually going against what I realize and in a way am Making a Statement that I really don’t in fact agree with, as I realize that what I really do want is to Be FREE and Be the Creator of what is here and an Active Participant in the Creation of My Reality and Me. And to accept anything less than that is accepting me to exist in a limited form, in a form where I have not fucking idea who I am and where I come from and what life is all about, and how I am and we have created this Reality, Ourselves and This Existence.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to Remain HERE and Aware of the Opportunity that I have to assist and support myself to really understand how everything works and within this to take responsibility for myself within my expression and direction of me as a Life Form to ensure that I am in fact Honoring Life within and as the Expression of me in a way that is best for all Life and is Supportive.
Thus when and as I see myself speaking the back-chat “just leave me alone” I stop and I breathe. I see that this statement has Supported me to in my Life live patterns of Self Limitation where I have not Aligned myself to Direct My Responsibilities Daily in a Way that produce a Practical Effective Result. But have rather within speaking such a statement supported me to exist within a Character that hides from responsibility, hiding out in my room, and thus never Living to the Potential possible within myself within Directing myself to Live Responsibility Daily. So its really like I must turn this point around 180 degrees where Instead of making the statement “just leave me alone” I rather Stand and Face My Responsibilities Eye to Eye.