In my last blog I laid out some of the points within the various dimensions of the “hiding in my room” Character/Personality which is the personality that really just prefer to be alone and can only find peace and comfort when alone particularly preferring to be in my room with the door closed. I have noticed a tendency to within this end up really closing myself off from my world and ending up utilizing this act of going to my room as a point of self abuse where the pattern emerge where I will start to avoid taking responsibility for myself and my reality and rather just want to escape it all and go to my room and close the door. Even if there is points that I require to actually venture out into the world to do. I have also noticed myself taking this point at times to a more obvious avoidance of my responsibilities where I just completely hide myself from my reality like just watching movies where I will stop answering my phone and just completely avoiding any kind of contact with people or the “outside world”
So what I am looking at here is to see if I can find the particular FEAR that would have initiated such a character.
I remember as a child or in my younger years into my teens I would often find solace in my room when for instance I would be in trouble or if there was conflict in the house. I could simply go to my room and be safe.
So from this perspective I see the point of Fear of Conflict. Fear of being hurt. Fear of Pain. Fear of Abuse.
In my Room I could avoid abuse. I could potential avoid the wrath of anyone who might cause me pain or hurt me. If I stayed in my room, then possibly I’d miss the entire ‘storm’ so to speak, and then would only come out once things quieted down.
Fear of Anger.
I also see this point of fearing other peoples anger (conflict). Particularly as a child if the anger was coming from an Adult. It was like there was this unpredictability about Anger and so Id rather just stay clear out of the path entirely so as to not end up even in the residual outflow of the conflict/anger point even if it was not specifically directed towards me, because from my experience it often does not matter if the anger/conflict is towards me but that it can so in an instance be directed at me as that was/is the nature of anger, it in a way take no prisoners and does not care about at who it is directed whether it is the intended target or civilians. Anger is reckless.
So in essence I am looking at point of “fear of conflict”
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