Letting Others Make Decisions For Me – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 316

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up on my life and not bother to direct it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in a situation where I seem to be more willing to sabotage my life than to support myself to stand up and be effective within it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just want to “shut down” and give up on making decisions for myself and directing myself in my reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my life where I will actually not really bother directing myself effectively and taking responsibility for ALL points within my life, and then just blame things on others when things “don’t work out” which is what happens when one do not direct points specifically and immediately in ones world. One’s world tend to “not work out” as self is not Practically Directing the points that are required to be directed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse “I don’t know what to do” as the excuse to why I am not making Decisions in my world that I am seeing I require to make.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just blame others for why my life is not working out, and in this not actually doing all that I am able to do to assist and support myself to become stable within my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate recently in making decisions within my life to support me, and that I have actually started to avoid making the most obvious decisions about my life that are fundamental and primary.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to actually Make the necessary decisions related to my practical living but that I have just wanted to put off ALL decisions and dealing with my world at all in any way, and so essentially retreated into myself and just left all my decision making up to other people, because then this way I do not have to deal with my reality, nor do I have to face the point of “making the wrong decisions for myself” that I actually fear doing.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear making decisions about my life because I fear making a decision that will cause me discomfort, so I just rather make no decisions about anything to avoid this point all together and thus end up allowing others to make decisions for me who have no idea what is in fact best for me, as I am the one that knows what is best for me as I have the most intimate relationship with me and knowing what points I am walking and what would be best for me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my decision making process to others and in this doing my self quite a disservice as who would know how best to direct me but me, thought yet I allow myself to abdicate this process to others, and just stand back allowing others to make decisions for me even though there is no way at all they would know what is in fact best for me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit to my fear of making decisions, and to just put off and put off making any kind of decision for myself about my life as long as possible, to the degree where I then place my decision making process into the hands of others to make decisions for me and then just stand back and watch, and then wonder why my life is not working out? When obviously this is in part to the fact that I am NOT making decisions for myself but have just kind of stood back and abdicated this entire process to others instead of doing this for myself daily and in every moment, precisely and concretely, for myself as myself.

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