Am I the Driver or Passenger In My Life – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 317

When and as I see myself resisting making a decision for myself, and standing back within myself from the perspective of where I will abdicate particular decisions / moments of decision, to others, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this process of standing back within myself and just allowing others to make decisions for me is not what is best for me. When I look at this point I see that I am the one who in fact knows me best and therefore I would be best equip to make the most effective decisions for myself, but that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate many many of m decisions to others willingly as I have “not wanted to make any decisions for myself” where this came about in relation to an experience of myself of just “giving up” in a way, not wanting to face my reality in any way because some of the decisions that I had to make I just did not want to make because I was not completely clear, and instead of breathing and bringing myself here and realizing that I do know myself most intricately and that from this perspective it would be best if I make my own Life Decisions, and that even if I do not get it right, at least I am practicing making my own decisions and considering all the points and directing myself and my life in the best way I can, but instead of doing this and practicing this, I just gave up all together and just let others make my life decisions for me, even if they did not even know what I was trying to accomplish and walk with my life and align myself with, and so how could I expect anything other than a mis-alignment of my life, where my life recently has been like where I am the passenger just sitting in the passenger seat and looking out the window while all the decisions and direction is being done for me. I have essentially accepted and allowed others to be the drivers of my life through by giving them my keys and letting them do the driving and directing taking and directing me to where they think is best.
I commit myself to push and will myself to MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS from the big to the small, and when and as I see myself going into that experience of anxiety and hesitation in relation to particular decisions in my life, I within this realize that to best assist and support me within my process, I must push myself to make those decisions, to make those decisions that will inform my life and the direction of my life, instead of just standing by and waiting to see what happens.

I commit myself also make the difficult decisions about my life and to no more accept and allow myself to continue to abdicate these decisions to others just because they are tough and I do not know what to expect. One thing I do know is that I know me better than other people know me, and so even if I do not get the decision or direction perfect, it will likely be better aligned than what another could do for me who does not know me or knows me very little, or who does not have, as I do, the intricate relationship and understanding of who I am and what I am walking or/and aligning myself with within my life, and so I commit myself to stop letting fear of making a wrong decision completely possess me to the degree where I will actually step back from making any kind of decisions about my life all together, and so HERE I commit myself to when and as I see hesitancy coming up about a decision I must make to look within myself and check to see if it is in fact this fear of making a mistake that is coming up and thus to within this direct me to take responsibility for myself and my life and take my time and come to a definitive and conclusive direction and walk it, decision by decision walking me back into and as my Directive Principle of My Life which I had abdicated and completely given away and just became the passenger of my life, and so to walk decision by decisions from the smallest to the largest, transforming myself from the passenger of my life to ensure that I am the Driver testing out and walking various decisions in life, with the KEY being that it is ME that is in fact assessing and directing me.


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