Allowing Myself To Shift The Blame – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 309

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not being good enough or doing enough in my life and world to take responsibility for myself within the context of what is best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be bitter towards x because x makes life seem easy and presents life as being this easy thing where everything is going fine where this is so NOT like my experience at all where nothing seems to go well in my life where it more seems like one tiny fraction of a step forwards and then 10 steps backwards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into a form of Self Victimization where I have actually started to live more and more as this Victimization and Self Pity Character/Personality, blaming everything and everyone in my world and defining everyone and everything in my world as the PROBLEM even though logically this does not make sense at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge and blame others in my life and world instead of walking and living my Responsibility of Standing Up in my Life and Directing Myself Effectively and stopping my Blame towards everyone and everything in my life as being the “problem” when obviously I am the one Responsible for myself and my world in every way and every moment and to even allow even a single iota of an instance where I am NOT STANDING in Absolute Self Responsibility is Self Dishonest as I understand the point of what it means to take absolute Responsibility for SELF and that I haven’t in fact been doing that at all but just accepting myself to abdicate my responsibility to others through shifting it onto others instead of Directing it for myself in every moment NO MATTER WHAT, no matter how hard or Difficult things become, and to just breath and direct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore Self Integrity and really have not lived this point for myself in my life and really have fucked up my inner waters of self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Sabotage my process of self change because of not wanting to give up this life that I lead and actually find excruciating though have just shrugged my shoulders and accepted it, in a way within a passive acceptance, kind of just holding myself in a sort of purgatory.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be able to handle the stress of being single where this point of being single has become like my weakness where I have become weak and lacking Integrity and Self Respect and have in a way kind of crumbled with really no inner strength to stand Alone in Self Reliance, Stability, Strength, Respect and Integrity, and also no Principle within which I walk and stand in every Moment in a way that is best for me and best for all.

 

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A Life Review of an Average Man

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