This Blog is a Continuation of the Following Blogs
Changing Habits Formed Through Anxiety – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 293
A Resident of FEAR – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 292
Sabotaging My World Through Emotions – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 291
Fear of Phone Calling – Reaction Dimension – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 290
Uncovering My Fear of Phone Calling – An Artists Journey To Life – Day 289
“I just really really really don’t want to” – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 288
Discomfort in Communicating With People – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 287
Maybe I Will Make Mistakes But That’s Ok – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 286
Fear of Phones – What if I ‘F’ Up – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 285
Fear of Speaking on the Phone – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 284
I am continuing here with exploring a resistance point that has been coming up this last few weeks, and that was emphasized particularly in relation to the point of needing/requiring to use the phone. So I am continuing on here with the ‘behavior’ dimension.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a physical heaviness when facing the point of needing to or requiring to make phone calls for my new job where its like my total body because heavy and my shoulders start to slump and I just cannot bring myself to the point of making the phone calls and just getting the point done.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within avoiding doing this task of making phone calls actually become more and more heavy where I get to the point of where I just want to lay down and actually go to sleep as this heaviness becomes like a point of exhaustion and I just want to go away and so I do this by closing my eyes and going to sleep.
WHen and as I see myself going into a physical heaviness experience where its like my total body becomes heavy to the point where I want to lay in my bed and close my eyes and go to sleep because I cannot stand the weight that I feel on my shoulders within my whole body, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this moment of wanting to give up is a moment that I must take the opportunity to re-program myself to Stand and Do What is Best For ALL. I commit myself to when I am facing moments where I am tired and I want to give up to breathe and to apply myself in a p practically effective way that is aligned with practical physical self movement in completing the tasks that I am required to walk that I have determined is necessary and aligned with the Development of myself and my life in a way that is best for all.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to accumulate / program myself to that which is best for all Breath By Breath, utilizing the Value of each moment in a way that produce a Result that is best for all, particularly in terms of me Directing myself in ways that will Support ME to become/live/embody what is best for all as for instance axquiring the necessary skills that I require to develop to become effective within the System and so I commit myself to assist and support myself to change my life from living in the mind to Living HERE in the Physial in and as Practical Effective Application in every breath, so that I actually become a Physical Living Expression in Every Moment, engaged with my physical world in a practical way that is best for all.
-avoiding the task – like doing everything else but the point of making the phone calls
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to “do everything but making the phonecalls” where I will do everything under the sun, like browsing the internet, watching movies, checking facebook, cleaning my house, reading, basically doing everything while meanwhile within myself knowing full well that I am actually avoiding the point of making phone calls where its like I have taken that point and placed it off to the side, trying to ignore it when all that happens is that it just constantly gnaw at me but I don’t want to do it or face it, and so I continue trying to ignore it, instead of just doing it from the perspective of actually physically moving and directing myself in a way that done within consistency will actually produce and effective result of and as programming myself to develop the necessary effective skills to become effective within the system.
When and as I see myself to “doing everything else but making the phone calls” I stop and I breathe. I realize that within existing in this way that I am actually NOT Living HERE and Directing Myself in a way that is best for all or best for me but that I am in fact in the Mind and accepting and allowing my Preprogramming to dictate who I am and what my life is and will become, a life that is NOW Manifest where I have essentially become ineffective within the system, as my programming is not at all aligned with this, and so it is up to me to actually do this for myself as a point of re-programming myself to walk and direct me in common sense practicality and no more accepting my programming to direct me in how I behave within my life. Thus I commit myself to utilize each moment of my day effectively in a way that practically produce a Result that is best for all and best for me instead of obeying my programming which within doing will produce the result of literally ineffectiveness and barely surviving and functioning in the system which my life has become a CLEAR EXAMPLE for me to see this already as what is created and manifest within and when and as I follow/respond to/ am directed by my pre-programming as my fears, thoughts, imaginations, back-chats, reactions/emotions/feelings, behaviors.
I will continue with the Dimension in my next blog.
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