From External Searching to Self Giving – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 297

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a constant state of misery as if I must do this, as if I have no control over it, as if this is how it is supposed to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the point of misery to the point of working and so exist within a state of misery whenever I am at work, but I will supress it though if I really stop and look, my actual experience within myself while at work is an accepted and allowed state of misery.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a state of misery at work, because I believe that there is somewhere else I should be or that there is somewhere better that I should be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe and simply realize that I must walk through the consequences that are here and walk each moment breath by breath to remain here in and as the physical in all contexts, stopping my reactions and blame and judgements when ever I see them coming up as I realize that to react, blame, or judge is not supporting me in any way.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defend my reactions, judgments and blame, and basically finding something wrong about every situation I am in, instead of assisting and supporting myself to breathe and Align myself to and as my Human Physical Body as I walk in every moment, no more accepting and allowing myself to go into judgments, blame, reactions in relation to my environment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I don’t react, than I am weak, and in this giving myself a reason to react in an emotional way instead of assisting and supporting myself to stand/exist in abslute stability within myself, standing clear and slient within me where nothing moves no matter who speak and what is said.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beleive that I will be depressed and negative until my life turns around, where in this, I am in a way blaming my life for my experiencing, believing that I am unable to actually enjoy myself within my current world / life, and so spending every day trying to get somewhere where I can finally then and only then experience a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction, instead of Living HERE in Every Moment.
When and as I see myself experiencing a deep sense of resentment and bitterness within myself towards my life where this is like the general experience of me, I stop and breath. I see that now is actually an opportune time to practice Living Here and fostering a Stability and Contentness within myself towards life from the perspective of in a way making peace with my life and in this pushing myself towards a greater simplicity and just being Ok with myself, this being a good time for this as I have very little at the moment, yet, I am Here. This is not to say to accept my life as it is and do nothing about it. But rather to develop my ability to Be Here With Me, and not needing/requiring anything outside of myself like excess stuff for my self fulfillment, and so here am focusing on the basics and the simple things. I commit myself to use what I have effectively and to be satisfied with what I have. There are so many with even less, and in some cases much much less than me.
I commit myself to embrace all parts of my life and to stop judging any aspect of my life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am always in the wrong spot for money, and that in my current environment and conditions that there is no way I will make money, or that money will flow to me or that my financial situation will improove and within this end up creating a kind of aversion to my current environment and conditions and actually judgining it as if there is something wrong with it, where this judgment seem to have more to do with my own issues regarding success and failure than the actual environment and conditions being the problem/cause of this.
I commit myself to be self self honest when I am assessing who I am within my life/environment, and determine if what I am experiencing in my life is in fact rational where for instance ensuring that I make sure that I am aware of my tendency to judge my environment due to the relationships I have established within my mind in terms of how I relate to my environment within my life and how I have done this throughout my life and thus within this developing my practical ability to be Self Sufficient and Self Stable within myself and my life in my environment instead of going into automatic reactions such as a negative experience that I have conditioned myself to enter into through having spent my entire life existing in separation from myself and attemting to find Fulfilment outside of myself in a point of separation without really ever considering how to practically provide/give to ME that which I am essentially blaming my environment for not doing/providing and so within this, I commit myself to Re-Align myself to “Practical Living based on SELF Giving” instead of external searching as being the foundation for my Living and Expression.

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5 thoughts on “From External Searching to Self Giving – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 297

  1. Pingback: Where Does the Discomfort in My Life Come From – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 298 | An Artists Journey To Life

  2. Pingback: DO MY PART – Self Responsibility – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 299 | An Artists Journey To Life

  3. Pingback: Sticking With It – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 300 | An Artists Journey To Life

  4. Pingback: Self Sustainable Fulfillment – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 301 | An Artists Journey To Life

  5. Pingback: Why Does it Feel Like Nothing EVER Changes – An Artists Journey To Life : Day 302 | An Artists Journey To Life

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