“I just really really really don’t want to” – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 288
Discomfort in Communicating With People – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 287
Maybe I Will Make Mistakes But That’s Ok – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 286
Fear of Phones – What if I ‘F’ Up – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 285
Fear of Speaking on the Phone – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 284
I see, realize and understand that “trying to find a way out of having to do it” is not a solution but is indicating that there is points that I must investigate with regards to why I experience myself this way. I commit myself to assist and support myself within my writings and self forgiveness to uncover the experience that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape, and to in uncovering this assist and support myself to see/realize/understand how I am able to in fact correct this point so that I am able to find a practical solution that support me instead of just trying to or wanting to run away.
I see/realize/understand that if I do not in fact address this point in for instance writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements that I will not understand it as this seeing/realizing/understanding of this point will not just magically appear but will take ACTUAL practical investigation and application.
I see, realize and understand that the back-chat statement “I just really really really don’t want to do it” is not a solution and so I commit myself to practically work with myself to uncover what is underneath this statement and thus I commit myself to Direct me to walk this point of why I am reacting the way I am in relation to the phone calls I was required to make during this last week, where I will walk this point in self investigating, writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application/self commitments.
When and as I see myself becoming anxious in relation to requiring to make phone calls for my new job, I stop and breathe. I see that this anxiousness was in part due to how I generated the phone numbers in the first place where I was not absolutely stable and comfortable within my initial stages of doing this, and in this I did not direct this point initially and correct it so that I was comfortable and stable within the initial stages of getting the phone numbers from clients in the first place, and so this only compounded more and more with each number I gathered until there was allot of anxiety now developing. I commit myself to investigate if there is a way I can walk within Stability and Self Comfort in the initial stages of communicating with clients so that when I am required to phone back later I will be stable and trust myself in the later interaction as this was based on a first initial interaction of comfortability and stability.
I commit myself to prepare myself more effectively within the context of the job/point that I am walking so that I can be more stable within the point overall, where in for instance if I am not consistently preparing and applying myself within practice stages of my job, I will never develop a foundation of stability from which to communicate to customers with.
I commit myself to “pace myself” within my job so as not to place myself in a position where I end up in a situation that I find excruciating from the perspective that it is not necessary to place myself into such positions in where this experience is actually unavoidable in that I am the one who has in fact created this inner experience of and as myself through my own application.
I see/realize/understand that I have not yet developed a stable foundation in terms of a level of trust within myself in relation to the point I am presenting and so I commit myself to when develop a pattern of consistency in my application of working with this point in a way that actually develop effective insights and understanding and trust within and as the point I am walking and presenting to customers.
What I am looking at at the moment is how I created that experience/point within me of “hating having to face that moment” and if there is something/anything I can do or could do this time around so as not to create this same experience where in I am looking at the point of how I in fact created this Particular experience within myself that I did not want to face and so thus taking responsibility for this experience from the perspective of exploring if this is a point that I am able to correct and harmonize within me and my expression so that when I am faced with that moment again of calling back clients that I am stable and comfortable and so overall looking at this point of what can I do differently so as not create this experience again, and so thus also how did I and what did I do to create this initial experience of stress for instance. One thing that I see I can to as a Base Support point is to work more with the product/point I am presenting to clients so that I develop more trust and familiarity within myself in relation to the point so as to be able to convey that trust and familiarity I have to the customer.
I see that my experience of resistance that was building I had actually not fully understood and in a way was just trying to power through it without understanding it and that only created more and more resistance, and so I commit myself to when and as I see a point of resistance come up within me to not just ignore it but to address it in writing, self forgiveness, and self commitment statements so to actually Direct it and Clear it within myself so that it does not continue to compound and build which is what happens when I ignore it and just continue on. I commit myself to take my time and address the points of resistance and friction that come up within me, looking at and investigating them through writing, self forgiveness, and self commitments/corrective statements.
When and as I see myself participating within and as the back-chat statements “Its to hard” and “I am not cut out for this” I stop and I breathe. I realize that what I require/required is a realignment of sorts and so here I commit myself to rather than accept these such back-chat statements to direct myself to realign myself within this point I am walking through by investigating what I have done so far and how I have created the resistance points I have and to thus correct these points and thus re-adjust and refine my practical application so as not to create friction and resistance as I have done thus far, and so I see that its no that “its to hard” or that “I am incapable” but that I require to investigate exactly how I created the friction and resistance thus far and what this is related to and thus to re-adjust and re-align myself within this point to not make this more difficult than it needs to be but rather being more GENTLE and SUPPORTIVE with myself in this process to ensure that I develop and walk this effectively and not just give up and quit, and so also realize that I must take my time with this and realize that to a certain degree this is a long term commitment I am walking and so to apply and support myself in a way that will facilitate and allow myself to to be Stable and Slowly but Surely building my ability and effectiveness within this point in a Sustainable, manageable, practical way.
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