This blog is a continuation from my previous blog where I walked the Self Forgiveness on The Fear Dimension of a reaction I had towards making phone calls for my new job. Here I walk the Self Commitment Statements.
When and as I see myself not wanting to make phone calls that I require to make because of fearing how the being on the other end of the phone will react, I stop and breathe. I realize this fear is exactly why I have avoided making phone calls for much of my life where I would put things like this off as much as possible and thus have shaped my life around the point of not having to make phone calls due to the experience of fear that I had within this/experienced towards doing this. I also see that this is a good example of allowing a fear to direct me within my life where I submitted to such a fear without actually investigated how I developed this fear in the first place but more just accepted fear as valid and normal. I commit myself to assist and support myself to move through this fear of talking on the phone through by assisting and supporting myself within opening this point up within my writings and self forgiveness and exploring exactly how I created/developed and designed this fear as well as practically moving myself to make the necessary phone calls that I require to make during the allotted times that I have set for myself to make them in and to when that time arrive to direct myself to make the necessary calls, not over thinking the point but more just directing myself immediately in the point no more accepting and allowing myself to hesitate and start thinking about doing it which is where the fears start to come in when I start thinking about it, and so rather to keep simple, breathe and Direct myself to make my required phone calls, as this way I can gain some practical experience and insight into calling and talking to various people in various situations and thus in this having an actual practical physical reality feed-back point upon which to determine/base my expression and direction in this point instead of having this based on a fear that comes up that emerge from within me before and without actually making any phone calls.
When and as I see myself fearing making phone calls due to fear of messing up or having awkward silences, I stop and breathe. I realize that an awkward silence is not the end of the world. Maybe I mess up the conversation, but that is ok. That is no reason to not direct myself to correct this point. I commit myself to assist and support myself to walk through as many awkward silences as I need and require to correct myself within this point of speaking on the phone so that I can develop this application of speaking on the phone into an effective skill within which I am comfortable and trust myself and have confidence in myself within my expression within utilizing the phone in communicating with others, and so thus I commit myself to walk through as many necessary awkward silences as I require to realize there is nothing to fear about that as no body is perfect all the time, and that it is ok if as I learn this point I may from time to time mess up words or something like that. I also see that there are moments of “awkward silences” that become awkward due to me judging myself for my ability within speech instead of realizing that there is nothing to judge me for and so then simply remaining calm and stable and unconditional within my expression on the phone, and that it does not at all have to be perfect.
When and as I see myself building up fear within myself due to thinking about and fearing about what other people think about me due to how I am sounding, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this process of developing my skill and comfortability on the phone is not about what other people think about me. It rather about me walking through this process and not judging myself for who I am in my expression and communication with others through the phone. I commit myself to in such moments where I am building up fear to just “get to the point” of actually making the calls I require to make as reacting to the point does nothing, and so I commit myself to just get to the point and realize that I cannot control the judgement of others and who others are but that I can assist and support myself to become effective within this point and practice interacting and communicating with all kinds and types of people.
I commit myself to take this opportunity in my life to get over my fear of speaking on the phone and actually speaking and communicating with other people, and to in this realize that the skill that I will develop in walking this point, particularly as this is something that I would enjoy being able to do – that being, to be comfortable and effective at communicating with beings/people, in this case on the phone, that this skill so greatly outweighs the mistakes I will make during the learning phases of doing something, as that is what learning is about and so HERE I commit myself to not give up and or quit on this point but to continue to push through the resistance and fear that comes up in relation to making the necessary phone calls that I require to make in my life at the moment, particularly in relation to my new job and thus to push though and will myself to develop this point into an effective skill and ability within and as myself.
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