The Equality of Flesh and Bone – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 282

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as separate from others from the perspective that there is me and there is them, like in an us vs them kind of way where I had never really considered anyone else equal to myself in that they might have something to offer that is as the same value or importance or relevance than what I have to offer where in essence throughout my interactions with others I always experiences my own personal experience as being the Key part of the equation where it was like I was the important part of the equation and so never really stood equal to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people by how they’re dressed, what their voice sounds like, what words they use, what their house looks like, what kind of vehicles they drive where in essence I am accepting and allowing myself to define people by their personalities as that artificial exterior that they have created and present themselves as instead of seeing that that is not who they really are and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the Judgments I have towards/of others and miss the point of equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want people treat me based on how I am dressed where if I am dressed nice than I am seen as important instead of realizing that this is still showing me that I am wanting some kind of attention or value placed on me which indicate in itself a form or lacking that I have accepted as myself to then thus want to be seen as MORE through by how I am dressed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there is no point what so ever to talk to people because I believe that all are just trapped in personalities and characters and that that give me the right to not even bother establishing a point of real communication with anybody.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear interacting with people, partly because I fear them getting angry with me or not liking me or judging me, where there comes like this fear inside of me that I instinctively trust without questioning it and looking into these fears I have towards interacting with people and the reasons as to why I would come up with excuses to not interact with people, when ultimately I can see that this relates to a general discomfort I have around people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find interacting with others Exhausting.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to when I am interacting with someone to realize that they are a being just like I am a being and so thus we are equal and thus have equally valid and important points to share and communicate about and that it is not just about me and so from this perspective I commit myself to in moments of interacting with others Align myself to stand within and as equality and oneness with those that I am interacting with where we stand as a group so to speak instead of focusing on my self interest where there is me and then there is them like how I normally look at things – And hey I might actually expand my world within really hearing what others have to say and realizing that others have equally valid points to share.

I see that my judgments and reactions I have towards others are always varied and range from highs to lows and everywhere in between depending on the external stimuli and how I have associated and cataloged and defined that external stimuli point within myself.

I commit myself to see/realize/understand that when I am moving in the highs and lows of my reactions/judgments towards the person that I am not really here and seeing/realizing/understanding what is really here but am trapped in my own self created value system that I have constructed throughout my life that is based on highs and lows of energy and good and bad and fundamentally on self interest instead of Equality and What is Best For ALL. And so I commit myself to assist and support myself to in such moments when I am seeing my varied reactions to stop and breath and direct myself back to here and realize we are all flesh and blood and bone and Life, equal and one. And so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get caught up in the details as the flash and dazzle and forget that this is all just the presentation but at the end of the day ALL here must eat and shit and sleep equal and one and no matter what kind of clothes you wear or vehicle you drive or god you believe in, that all is actually Equal where it counts and that also no one escapes death no matter how much you pray or how much money you make, and so within this also we are Equalized.

 

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