LAZINESS – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 278

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as lazy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within specific excuses and justifications that produce laziness, such as “its ok if I don’t do that right now”

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to move myself within directing myself within and as self discipline where I establish self discipline and walk self discipline based on the practical common sense assessment of what I require to do to be effective within my living and my responsibilities, and that instead of doing this, I will see what I am required to do but will not structure myself to do that and so end up living laziness in where I don’t do that which I see I must do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak the back-chat inside of me “I am not able to structure myself” and within this back-chat separate myself from the point of actually structuring myself effectively within and to become self disciplined in for instance organizing myself within writing and or keeping a schedule.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defend my limited way of living where I will talk myself into “why I am lazy” or “unable to move myself” instead of directing and aligning me with practical self movement within and as the Living of Self Discipline which I have in many ways given up on or easily give up on and thus have not really lived Self Discipline within a point of Consistency.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to laziness and in instances convince myself that I am not able to be a certain way or walk a certain point holding onto the idea that I am only able to live out that which I have conditioned myself to do and live and so when ever it comes to a point of change I never follow through as I have convinced myself and thus also continue to convince myself within my back-chat and inner talk in my mind that “my body” is not able to handle it, and that I am very ready to speak this inner back-chat talk defending my pre-programmed way which begs the question, am I really interested in changing…I mean why do I allow myself to participate in self limiting back-chat so easily. The Answer to this is because in participating with my back-chat and supporting the way things already are, my mind as the addictions I have created towards certain experiences and energetic experiences will remain in place and I will still get that stuff where if I change, I will no longer be feeding my mind addictions to experiences and so I will allow myself to participate in back-chat that will keep me within my already existing life as the back-chat is like the mind fighting for its life and so is in a way Me fighting for my life as a Mind and not wanting to give that up and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still defend my mind and my existence as a mind and in essence fight for this existence.

When I allow myself to be directed by the mind, I really become lazy as I am no longer needing to be here and actually Directing myself in a practical effective way but more just following and responding to the mind. And thus the point of laziness is developed as its like I within myself take a back-seat and just sit back and lay back and do nothing giving my directive principle over to the mind, instead of remaining here within and as self direction.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself to explore and investigate the point of Laziness and within this to assist and support myself to transform my laziness into living self discipline. I commit myself to explore and investigate this point within myself through within writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application/ self commitments to assist and support myself to see the various parts of this equation as to how I in fact accept and allow myself to create myself as lazy/ live laziness and why I do not stop and change me into and as Living/Walking Self Discipline in every moment. I see/realize/understand that there is a part of this where I see myself as “unable” to actually live/walk self discipline in a consistent way but accept and allow myself to assume I will go back to my old ways and so within this initial acceptance and allowance, don’t even get to the point of actually trying or bothering to implement points of Self Discipline on a daily basis and so in essence here don’t even bother “leaving the gates” so to speak, and even beginning the process, so thus quitting before I even start.

I will continue exploring this point in blogs to come

 

 

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