I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself if I make a mistake when I speak to someone and I mess up with what I say, where this judgement developed into a kind of fear that eventually possessed me and possesses me where in moments of interaction with others, I will not speak up, or share my view on something because this way I remain “safe” where I do not have to risk messing up or face the point of other people judging me which is actually more related to me judging myself and worrying what other people think of me.
I commit myself to when I am with people or around people to walk through that “force” that is like a presence within me that in fact my fear standing as like a barrier that I will accept and allow to direct/control/influence me in what I do and what I say where I will “decide” to just rather not speak or communicate or interact with someone where this decision happen in a moment and seem like I am just making a normal decision but really behind it is FEAR, and so when and as I see this fear existing within me which I experience as a kind of resistance and aversion to speaking with people or approaching someone and communicating with them, I stop and I breathe, I realize that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself extensively within my life within where I have not pushed myself to really communicate with people and get comfortable with interacting and communicating with people which is something that I would like to do, and so I see that the only way to do this is to practically push through that initial resistance point and simply face my fear and walk through and actually SPEAK and COMMUNICATE with people, allowing myself to maybe make mistakes or have it not be perfect but within this assisting and supporting myself to “learn to walk” from this perspective where sometimes I will stumble or fall but to trust myself that I will get it with practice and so I do continue walking through the fear and pushing myself to speak/interact/communicate with people until I become effective, comfortable within this point, something that I want to do but till now have not bothered to actually change myself by walking through my fear and thus facing my fear of communicating and interacting with people.
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