This blog is a continuation of the investigation into my Self Victimization Character which I have outlined in the following blog : Self Victimization – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 210
Here I am now continuing with the next Self Forgiveness as well as Self Commitment Statements on the reaction/emotion/feeling dimension I have identified within and as my Self Victimization Character.
The Reaction I am looking at Here is : Hopelessness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the reaction of hopelessness to support self victimization where I utilize such a reaction to manipulate myself to abandon and ignore practical reality instead of ensuring that I am remaining here equal and one to and as what is here in Self Responsibility to ensure the effective functioning and support of my reality and what is real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use hopelessness to substantiate the point of Self Victimization so to manipulate myself to fall back into the mind instead of standing here within and as self stability as breath.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to utilize hopeless within and as the point of Self Victimization to activate behaviors that I live out as further evidence I am providing as the building up of my excuse to justify me falling back into the mind and just going for the “good feeling” of energy instead of sticking to the physical and remaining HERE in and as the physical in practical self directed self responsibility.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that my emotions/feelings/reactions that I believe are so strong and overwhelming and REAL, not yet fully realizing how I am accepting and allowing myself to utilize such reactions as justifications to “go for energy” which I have basically trained myself to do throughout my life and so am now assisting and supporting myself to stop myself from doing and instead Solidifying Myself HERE in and as the PHYSICAL where I remain HERE and “connected” to the physical in every moment so that I can work with what is HERE and real in a practical self responsible way instead of accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from HERE and busy myself in my mind and following and participating with energies in the alternate reality of my mind that simply keep me separated from myself here and the practical responsibility I have to what is here to ensure the effective functioning of myself and others and all that is here, but that I cannot do this if when I leave here and going into the alternate dimension of the mind to simply experience energy because this alternate reality disconnect me from what is really here and also disconnect me from Living HERE within and as SELF Stability with absolute Self Direction standing as and in alignment with what is best for all and simply put, practical common sense living.
When and as I see the point of hopelessness come up within me I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand how I have convinced myself that hopeless is real and in having completely convinced myself of this, accept and allow myself to use this to justify falling into the mind where all I am really doing is just not wanting to actually Take Responsibility for myself in every breathe and so utilize hopelessness to escape my reality for at least some breathes where I can just go ahead and indulge in the feel good energy experiences of and as the mind, and so I commit myself to when and as I see the point of hopeless come up within me or any reaction for that matter, to ask myself “where is the point where I am actually just wanting to experience the “feel-good” energies of the mind and that this reaction of hopelessness or any other reaction is simply the reaction dimension of my mind that I use to manipulate myself to separate myself from here from the physical from my equal and one relationship with living here in self responsibility to go into the mind and experience the alternate realities and energies of and as the mind where I do not have to be HERE standing and living equal and one with and as practical reality in a practical way of and as effective support for myself and others and all that is here within the context of what is best for all.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to transform/change my Living so to stop manifesting and validating and materializing my wants, needs and desires but to change/transform myself and my living to actually live my responsibilities I have to myself my physical body, my physical world and our actual lives within this world, no more accepting and allowing myself to have ignored and abandon this for so long through by accepting and allowing myself to just continually exist in the mind which keeps me separated from what really matters as my actual real life and self here living that I have never actually done/lived before but abdicated this point of actual physical self expression though by living in the alternate reality of the mind of and as the living out and existence as Mind Characters and Personalities.
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