Here is the continuation of the Self Commitment/Corrective Statements of the Self Forgiveness done on Day 250 – VictimLIES – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 250
I see/realize/understand that I accept and allow myself to take all the bad parts of my life, and focus on them, bringing them all here within a point of creating and building up a negative emotional whirlwind making my life/myself seem so terrible and so bad, where this is actually a point of Self Victimization and done deliberately to create the “perfect storm” as self experience of and as self victimization.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to when and as I see myself deliberately focusing on all the parts of my life that I have defined as negative, to stop and breath. I realize that doing this is self manipulation and self victimization. I commit myself to find the source/origin for why I would in fact be accepting and allowing myself to create such an experience within me because this kind of experience is not supportive in anyway. It is actually a form of self abuse and so I commit myself to investigate this from the perspective of identifying the “cause” of such a “act” to find/see the actual source reason for why I am creating/building up this entire negative emotion whirlwind inside of me. What is it that I am not wanting to see or look at or face, or have not looked at faced that is currently within my world that would cause me to create such an experience within me instead of assisting and supporting me in a practical effective manner in my life in a way that actually support. Which would be the essence of Self Support.
Next Back-Chat: “I am such a failure”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak the words inside me of “I am such a failure” where I will simply encompass all the aspects of my life where I have perceived/defined myself as failing into this statement so this statement become like a “loaded statement” with various points within it, but I will simply utilize this point as a point of Self Victimization instead of Constructively where I actually take each and all points that is within this statement “I am such a failure” and investigate each on in detail to see all the various components/thoughts/memories/emotions/feelings etc involved.
I forgive myself myself for accepting and allowing myself to attack myself through and as speaking the statement “I am such a failure” where I will simply group “everything” into this one statement and use it as a statement to fuel an emotional experience of and as my Self Victimization Character.
I will continue with the SF in my next blog.
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