This blog is a continuation of the investigation into my Self Victimization Character which I have outlined in the following blog : Self Victimization – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 210
Here I am now continuing with the next Self Forgiveness on the next back-chat statement I have identified within and as my Self Victimization Character.
Back-Chat Statement – I am useless.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak the back-chat statement “I am useless” within the context of victimizing myself where I speak such a statement as a way for me to validate and justify why I do not change, never looking behind the statement of “I am useless” and seeing that this statement is used to facilitate perpetuating mind experiences that I do not want to stop and stand up from, because the mind experience is so comfortable and if I were to actually stand up and take responsibility for myself, I would have to stop the mind and so in this way I see the nature of the back-chat statement is self manipulation to support me to remain in a mind experience because simply, that is what I want to do, but to make it seem like I am innocent within all this I will speak the back-chat statement “I am useless” which is my reason I give to myself for why “I am unable” within this becoming/being the Victim, instead of directing me to actually stop the mind and stop my addiction to the mind as the mind experiences that I have gotten used to.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand how the backchat statement “I am useless” is a statement that act as a link or bridge to the mind, and thus actually prevent me from stopping addictions to mind experiences that I have developed that I have taken the place for my actual physical living in this reality, where now I do not actually live and direct me physically in my physical reality but just find myself stuck in various mind experiences which I am not Directing me to Stop and Stand up from and actually Direct and Live me in my practical physical world, one way I do this is through Victimizing myself within and as the back-chat statement “I am useless” which in itself if actually very vague, and give not specific details as to the reasons why I am apparently “useless” within a particular point, where this statement is vague because if I actually investigated the point(s)/ moments I faced where I was existing in a mind experience and not wanting to practically direct me within my Responsibilities, and taking responsibility for myself that If I actually investigated myself in those moments would find that this statement “I am useless” is a lie and that I am practically able to Stand and Direct me within my Life/World/Practical Responsibilities.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to through my back-chat come up with reasons that seem Real as to why I am unable to stand up and Direct myself within Standing in and as Self Responsibility and so have accepted and allowed myself to deny that I am able to Direct myself to stop and change me within myself and within my life, and that It is not a matter of not being able, it is matter of not wanting to and so I see here that my Self Victimization Character is the Character that activates/comes up as a way to keep in place this accepted and allowed stance that I have taken that “I am unable” that “I do not have the directive principle of me, and standing in to make it seem like “I am unable” or “I am useless” Shielding me from the actual truth that it is just that I don’t want to.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that what the statement “I am useless” actually stand for is “I don’t want to”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prevent myself from taking Directive Principle of myself and actually Directing myself to Live Effective and to my utmost potential where I have manipulated myself into believing that It is apparently not within my hands/directive principle though speaking self victimizing back-chat to constantly re-affirm my inabiLIEty instead of stopping this Character and Standing up and within this actually Empowering me and doing what is best for me, and so thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within speaking the back-chat statement “I am useless” limit myself and manifest a lesser version that what I am actually capable of living,. And so
I commit myself to stop accepting the smokescreen backchat that “I am useless” and thus allow myself to see clearly and definitively that this is a lie and the real truth is that “I don’t want to” and so to thus no more accept and allow myself to participate with the statement as “I am useless” as it is a blatant lie I tell myself and is not in fact true at all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak the statement “I am useless” within me, because then I do not actually have to take responsibility for myself, which is what this statement is all about and the Self Victimization Character is all about. Making it seem as though I have no power so to hide from the truth of who I really am as actually just Only concerned with my own Self Interest and that I do not want to Stand-Up for and as Life and Walking What is Best for ALL, something that I am capable of doing but we has humanity have become Amazing Liars creating a smokescreen of lies because god for bid we have to give up our self interest and turn our attention to loving another as an equal and doing to another what you would like done unto you, and thus Creating a world that is best for all which ironically implies is BEST for us to, yet we will not do what is even best for ourselves and would rather lie to ourselves and VictimLIES ourselves so that we do not have to give up our precious self interested heavens that we exist in in our own personal mind experiences and internal realities that we have constructed as our egos and have become addicted to like a junky and now do not want to give that internal holographic reality up and take responsibility for this physical reality within which we live in and are destroying day by day to its eventual annihilation.
I will continue in my next blog.
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