Creating My Emotional State – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 246

Feeling Blue

 

I am continuing with the Self Commitment Statements on the Self Forgiveness walked in: The Instability of the Mind – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 245

 

When and as I see myself within a “being an emotional wreck” experience, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have spent many-a-year creating and cultivating a mind that is ripe to produce the “emotional wreck experience” and that thus It will take me walking in every moment to re-establish myself as who I am as Stable, existing HERE equal and one with and as the physical, and not in a mind environment that I have become so accustomed to Living in, and that thus, I will not always be effective in this correction process, as I have found that I will still find myself in the “emotional wreck experience” meaning, finding myself within my mind/participating in my mind and thus producing myself as an emotional wreck, and so when and as I see myself doing this/within this/within my mind, I stop and I breathe, and I direct me back to Here, back to the physical, and thus simply continue assisting and supporting myself to Correct, who I am through by assisting and supporting myself to remain HERE equal and one to and as the physical in every moment, as the process of Living in Real-Time the correction of no more accepting and allowing myself to exist within my mind, but instead now exist HERE in and as the physical in practical self direction and movement. I commit myself also to investigate my “emotional wreck” experiences and the different acceptances that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as that would facilitate this “emotional wreck experience”

When and as I see myself participating within the back-chat statement “I am to anxious” in relation to my ability to stabilize myself and thus direct me within and as self stability and practical self movement, I stop and I breathe. I see that this emotionally unstable experience that I now find myself in didn’t just “come out of no where” though it sometimes seems like it, as I am not yet, as I have not yet made myself aware of myself from the perspective of directing me to see/realize/understand in exact detail and sequence how I in fact create/am creating every experience that exist within/as me in each moment. Thus, I commit myself to take Responsibility for the experiences I have/experience in each moment, realizing that “my state” in each and every moment is a result of what I accept and allow myself to participate in as my thoughts, ideas, beliefs, pictures, fantasies, emotions, feelings, energies, back-chats, inner dialog and basically everything of me both seen and unseen. And that experiences do not just manifest “out of no where”.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to understand the consequences of what I participate in/accept and allow within me from the perspective of “where that will eventually lead” and to understand that when I find myself in an “emotionally unstable” experience, that I have in fact created that “perfect storm” within me over a period/sequence of time, where I will participate in a thought here, and a thought there, and an energy here and an energy there until bit by bit, piece by piece I slowly but surely brew a storm as emotional experience that suddenly feels as if it is coming out of know-where, and so I commit myself to take responsibility for my “coming out of know-where experience experiences” assisting and supporting myself within realizing that I am in fact creating me and my experiences in each moment that will eventually lead to that experience that feels as if it is coming out of no-where.

I see how I will in moments allow certain thoughts, and certain feelings within me, and think “there is no harm to it” and “its just one little thought” meanwhile not considering how one by one I am actually building/accumulating a future experience within that could potentially become “unmanageable” or “overwhelming” and so to realize that no thought, no picture, no feeling that I participate in no matter how small goes unaccounted for, as it all goes into the pot as I am brewing and building the experience of me where in my ignorance time and time again I have only took notice of this experience brewing after it is too late, after I have already added way to many inGREEDients and now its overflowing and overwhelming, and so I commit myself to assist and support myself to see/realize/understand how I build my experiences, so that I can take responsibility for them/myself and assist and support myself to stop creating mental experiences that are an imposition onto reality instead of simply being/Living Here AS reality equal and one, standing Here equal and one to and as the physical without needing or requiring to create/build a mental experience which to be experiencing as an alternate reality, but instead just being Here in simplicity with not mental experience required.

 

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2 thoughts on “Creating My Emotional State – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 246

  1. Pingback: You are the one.. « The Velvet Closet of a Lesbian

  2. Pingback: Throwing it all out there… « The Velvet Closet of a Lesbian

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