I Just Don’t Have it in Me – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 242

Multi-Self  Pencil, Pencil crayon on paper, 8x10in, 2006

Here is a Continuation of the Self Commitment Statements for the Self Forgiveness Walked  in Day 235

In my last blog I came across a back-chat statement that I did not include in my initial layout of the “back-chat” dimension of my Victimization Character. The statement is “I just don’t have it in me” or “I don’t have it in me”

I have noticed that within writing out this Victimization Character that there also is another point or character that I am finding seems to blend in with this point of Victimization, and that is “giving up” or the “Giving-Up” Character. I have also noticed the point of procrastination or postponement show its face also, but mainly the “Giving-Up” Character seems to be the point which seems to weave in and out of the Victimization Character.

So what is the difference between giving up and victimization?

Giving up is that moment where one give up. I mean in terms of the back-chat statements that I have explored within the Victimization Character, I see the exact same back-chat statements within the back-chat dimension of the giving up Character. For instance:

“I can’t do this”
Or the most recent one that has come up
“I just don’t have it in me”

So what I am looking at here is what is the definitive difference between the point of Self Victimization VS Giving up.

On point that I have noticed specifically about Victimization is that it is “Dramatic” where I see I inflate points more, or making something bigger than it is, or making something seem worse than it is. Victimization is like the things I say to myself to find reasons why I am not applying myself within and as what is best for all to the best of my ability.

This point originally came up within the context of when I was not wanting to face/walk/direct my responsibilities that are here within the context of doing what is best for all, that I will Victimize myself to create the idea that I am unable to do or handle such responsibilities when the truth is I just don’t want to do them. Thus for me to make note of this as I continue with walking the Self Forgiveness on this point which I am going to continue on with now, continuing on with my Back-Chat Dimension.

Backchat Statement – “I don’t have it in me”

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize the relationship between the back-chat statement “I don’t have it in me” and me not wanting to face my reality, in terms of facing/walking all my Responsibilities that I see are HERE within the context of doing what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to excuse myself from walking/living my responsibilities I see are Here to assist and support me to align me with what is best for all, excusing myself through/within speaking the back-chat statement “I don’t have it in me”, and thus disempowering myself to in fact stand and live within the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get overwhelmed with having to practically walk my responsibilities every day, and so get to a point where I just don’t want to do it anymore where then I will start to participate with back-chat aligned with Self Victimization as I bit by bit start to put off my responsibilities or supress myself from the perspective of trying to burry deep down within me the fact that I see points within my reality that I require to direct but am not doing, and instead trying to burry my awareness of the fact that I see these points must be directed.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that I do have it in me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see/realize/understand the exact detail of why and how I utilize the statement “I just don’t have it in me” within the context of manipulating and victimizing myself within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imply within the statement that “I just don’t have it in me” that I have reached my limit, that I have reached my threshold, and can go no further, that I cannot hang on any longer, that I must give in, that I have no more strength, that I have used all my strength and all my will power and I have none left and so can “hang on” no longer. That I don’t have the desire to continue, that I actually just don’t want to continue any more, applying and directing myself which is what I am really saying here. That I do not have the “strength” to apply myself within the context of what is best for all, which thus implies that I only have a limited resource of strength and will that I utilize to apply myself within the context of what is best for all, but that once that resource “run out” than I have no more, than “I just don’t have it in me” that “I only have so much ‘strength’” which I more see is in fact a “want”, where I only have so much “want” to apply myself within the principle of what is best for all, where when I reach my threshold than I no more WANT to apply myself within the principle of what is best for all, and thus “don’t have it in me” any longer, as I no more WANT to apply myself within the context of what is best for all. That I have reached my threshold and now I just don’t don’t want to anymore.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that within the statement “I don’t have it in me” in relation to applying/directing living my practical responsibilities aligned with what is best for all, that what I am really saying is that I no more “WANT” to apply myself, and thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that WANTING is based on a preference that I have decided on.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the back-chat statement of and as “I don’t have it in me” is based on my preferences and not my actual ability /capacity to in fact direct myself within the principle of what is best for all, and so thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live that which is not best for all, by preference, and that I have not corrected this point from preference to principle where preference is no longer valid if it is not based within the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself realize that I have made my preference look like “I have no choice” in the matter, when in fact I have just dressed it up to appear this way.

 

Desteni I Process LITE

Desteni Has launched Desteni I Process Lite. This is a completely free, online course with buddy support. The course material has been designed from the ground up to accommodate complete beginners to the Desteni material. Start the your process of writing yourself to freedom today.

Daily EQAFE Interview Support

Tile_why-your-weakest-points-are-your-greatest-strength-life-review

Why your Weakest Points are your Greatest strength – Life Review

Featured Desteni Links

desteni.org
eqafe.com
equalmoney.org
desteniiprocess.com
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “I Just Don’t Have it in Me – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 242

  1. Pingback: Putting Things Off – An Artists Journey To Life – Day 243 | An Artists Journey To Life

  2. Pingback: Preference Thresholds – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 244 | An Artists Journey To Life

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s